Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Remainers spotted entering Ark two by two


  Wide spread flooding throughout the UK, has led to Londoners and people wearing blue face-paint boarding a wooden vessel, 300 cubits long and sailing under an EU flag. Storm … Continue reading

February 27, 2020 · Leave a comment

No.10 ban anti-Tory press, but can’t find any


Much to their embarrassment, the Government has failed to find any actual criticism in the press, other than an oblique reference to Priti Patel being ‘more scary’ than any terrorist.  … Continue reading

February 26, 2020 · Leave a comment

Most couples opt for an ‘uncivil’ partnership


Despite thousands of heterosexual couples in England and Wales entering into civil partnerships, a far greater number will be moving to a state of awkward silence and passive aggressive comments … Continue reading

February 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

Government categorically denies re-nationalizing railways, while it re-nationalizes railways


Troubled rail companies are to be brought under government control, but not really.  No decision was made to strip Arriva Rail of its franchise and this ‘no decision’ was definitely … Continue reading

February 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: “Come and visit us next week, Boris!”


WINNER: “Come and visit us next week, Boris!” (from Inchcock)   RUNNERS UP Selfie Sick (from MargyGains1) ‘I hope this photo goes viral’ (from Tanto3Bleak) Family with bad teeth, find … Continue reading

February 23, 2020 · 1 Comment

Chancellor of Exchequer to become zero-hour contract


Sajid Javid has resigned from the cabinet, after being asked to stack shelves at Sports Direct and drive an Uber cab on the weekend. A No. 10 spokeswoman said: ‘Sajid … Continue reading

February 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

Belgium gets tough on deadbeat Kings


Former Belgian King Albert II has been forced to admit to fathering an illegitimate child and not having read Tintin. Backdated child support payments will include €78, the city of … Continue reading

February 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

NHS ‘coronavirus pod’ is the new name for ‘corridor’


With no additional capacity, hospitals have been forced to improvise with their use of space; converting carparks into wards, skips into surgeries and toilets into ‘executive office space, with unlimited … Continue reading

February 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Boris: ‘The only cure for coronavirus is a blue passport’


Brexiteers and medical officials agree that the colour of your passport will be the deciding factor in whether you contract 2019-nCoV virus or end up speaking French.  Moving from a … Continue reading

February 17, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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