The Truth about Goats
With no additional capacity, hospitals have been forced to improvise with their use of space; converting carparks into wards, skips into surgeries and toilets into ‘executive office space, with unlimited flushing capacity’. With the outbreak of coronavirus, corridors will be utilized to examine the infected, while at the same time, giving access to range of exciting vending machines.
One NHS manager explained: ‘Many patients feel isolated, but fortunately corridors provide a fantastic amount of footfall. Even the most jaded individual can’t help but be excited by the constant blur of faces and exposure to new germs’.
Each ‘assessment pod’ will consist of a long passage, with doors at either end – with a regular through-draft and all the strip lighting you could desire. Patients will have choice of reclining on a trolley or on state-of-the-art floor tiles.
A spokeswoman for Matt Hancock commented: ‘We have plenty of options for extra space; there are air vents, cavities between walls and we can always unblock a few drains’. While corridor nurses will be required to refer to the virus cases as ‘a clear up required on aisle five’.