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NHS need Burberry gowns but can’t afford £1000 matching bag

The desperately short supply of personal protective equipment (PPE) has forced the NHS to outsource to Burberry and Barbour – while deliberately ignoring ASDA’s less fashionable ‘George’ line. An average … Continue reading

April 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Trump to start funding the Coronavirus

In a bold move, the President has said he no longer wants to fund ‘losers’ and will, instead, be supporting the clear success stories of 2020; this includes Poverty, War … Continue reading

April 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Isle of Wight to ban penny-farthing from town centre

In an attempt to cut congestion, Ventnor council has decided to remove horse drawn carts, sedan chairs and speeding mobility scooters from the main thoroughfare.  Locals are said to have … Continue reading

April 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

Race to be the first writer of bitter, sweet comedy drama called ‘Social Distancing’

Script writers up and down the country are rushing to be the first to capitalize on the rich creative vein that is Coronavirus – working title ‘Love at six feet … Continue reading

April 27, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: PPE comes in many forms

WINNER: PPE comes in many forms (From HatchWonk) Chicken swallows entire child (from laserbeamz) What came first, chicken or middle-class kid dressing up (from Patchnip) Free-range meets range-rover (From AuntyBess4) … Continue reading

April 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

Matt Hancock maths – ‘some dead nurses’ are more than no dead nurses

The Health Secretary showed his grasp of figures and ethics in an interview when asked how many nurses had died after contracting Coronavirus, he replied ‘some’ – which is exactly … Continue reading

April 23, 2020 · Leave a comment

Care Home virus deaths recorded as alien abductions

It transpires that the UK government has been suppressing Coronavirus mortality rates by ignoring non-hospital deaths and passing them off as the work of extraterrestrial kidnappers or the cast of … Continue reading

April 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

Keir Starmer yet to get a football stadium chant

As Jeremy Corbyn bids a fond farewell to the leadership of the Labour Party and big hello to his prize marrows, the new Leader is struggling with his new found … Continue reading

April 21, 2020 · Leave a comment

Doctor grateful to have journalist explain her job to her

Health professionals have welcomed the rude interruptions of numerous interviewers, in helping to spread editorial views on Coronavirus and ultimately the spread of Coronavirus. Said one Doctor: ‘I feel I … Continue reading

April 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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