The Truth about Goats
The desperately short supply of personal protective equipment (PPE) has forced the NHS to outsource to Burberry and Barbour – while deliberately ignoring ASDA’s less fashionable ‘George’ line. An average surgical gown costs less than £20 but the price spirals when you add in the necessary cashmere scarf, umbrella and eau de parfum.
A Health official defended the decision: ‘Burberry are competitively priced but it would be a scandal not to match the plaid gown, with the £500 Dalmatian Print Calf Hair Pumps’.
The downside to using top fashion designers, is that there will be no PPE for ‘over-sized’ NHS staff. Standard nurses will be 5’9″, with 34″ chest, 24″ waist and 34″ hips – even the male ones.
One NHS worker described the dilemma: ‘It’s a life and death scenario – can I wear a leopard-print, cotton gabardine gown, with a gingham silk, chiffon, pussy-bow blouse? I’d work in my socks if it was cheaper, but at £60 a pair, probably not.’