The Truth about Goats
Acting like a wartime leader is all very well; but is probably inadvisable if the war is Little Bighorn and your choice of leader is General Custer. Unfortunately for Boris Johnson, in his attempt to be Churchillian, he has just focused on the racist, incompetent part.
With UK deaths to coronavirus eclipsing all other European countries, particularly hitting BAME communities the hardest, Boris’ advice to the nation is to walk slowly towards the enemy guns. Not so much lions led by donkeys, as patients led by zombies.
Instead are armouring frontline staff with adequate equipment, the Prime Minister has opted for helmets made from cardboard boxes and swords fashioned from rolled up newspapers. Explained the PM: ‘Now this is not the end. It’s not even the beginning of the end. but it is, perhaps, the beginning of another sentence. A sentence starting at the beginning and ending at the end. But what of the middle? Does the middle have an end or a beginning? And if you start at the end, do you even need a beginning? So, let me end, as I begun, with the ending. I hope that’s clear?’
An aide confirmed: ‘Yes, the number of dead is still rising, but these are causalities, which means we can be casual about them. In this kind of situation, the PM always asks himself – what would Churchill do? Probably focus on car insurance‘.