The Truth about Goats
In what is being billed as a choice between radically different flavours of vanilla, the Presidential race is hotting up to be a brutal fight between magnolia and beige. Unfortunately, the things that would normally make a candidate stand out – molestation, corruption and being a teetotaller – are exactly the same reasons to pick their opponent.
Every time Joe Biden tries to distance himself from his racist voting history, President Trump tries to mimic it. Every time Joe Biden touches a young female, Trump tries to marry it. Coincidently both men hate living in the shadow of President Obama and both men confused Mr. Obama for the butler.
The similarities don’t stop there; both men have dodgy associates, dodgier sons and implausible hairlines. They offer voters all the choice of Pepsi versus Coke and with all the same lack nutrients. Said one voter: ‘Thank god that old, white Bernie Sanders withdrew from the race, now at least we have a real choice.’