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Keir Starmer fires MP because he’s too scared to stop buying a newspaper

The Independent newspaper has published an interview with the actress Maxine Peake, which has so outraged the Leader of the Labour Party, that he has sacked someone who had nothing … Continue reading

June 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Boris allowed to organise opening of pubs – but not piss-ups in breweries

The Prime Minister has declared a significant relaxing of lockdown rules, with 2m distancing to be downgraded to ‘no tongues’. Unfortunately, Mr Johnson’s track record on planning is patchy; be … Continue reading

June 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘And the winner of poshest garden furniture goes to….’

WINNER: ‘And the winner of poshest garden furniture goes to….’ (from HenryFrank8)   RUNNERS UP Social distancing or Mexican standoff? (from There_meltz) One ménage à trois, no one wants to … Continue reading

June 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

One-fifth of Earth’s ocean floor is now mapped – thanks to broken Satnav

Mr & Mrs Agnew of Port Talbot have inadvertently driven their Ford Focus across 14.5 million sq. km of sub-nautical landscape, after a disagreement over which is the quickest route … Continue reading

June 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

You can’t ban Katie Hopkins you have to sprinkle salt on her

In attempting to permanently remove Katie Hopkins from their platform, Twitter have made the classic error of not putting a stake through her heart, or at the very least, using … Continue reading

June 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Neolithic monument found at Stonehenge, was Matt Hancock’s first Tracing App

Archaeologists have confirmed that the recently discovered ring of prehistoric shafts, were in fact a rudimentary attempt by the Health Secretary to monitor the spread of Coronavirus, while ensuring favourable … Continue reading

June 23, 2020 · Leave a comment

Grenfell? What’s that?

MPs of all persuasions seemed to be suffering from collective amnesia when it comes to solving a fairly straightforward whodunnit. Three years has elapsed since the corporate manslaughter of 72 … Continue reading

June 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘He’s taking this Social Distancing a bit serious, int he?’

‘He’s taking this Social Distancing a bit serious, int he?’ (from Inchcock) RUNNERS UP MoD deny missile cutbacks (from SaddyGrant) The Bumps – when your friends leave you hanging (from … Continue reading

June 21, 2020 · 1 Comment

Zoos reopen – Lions excited about 2 metre distancing

Boris Johnson has announced that safari parks will open on June 15th and insisted that a two-metre exclusion zone from a rhino, is just enough to give you a head … Continue reading

June 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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