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The Truth about Goats

Farage to marry hijacked tanker

In a small, private ceremony Nigel Paul Farage was joined in matrimony with the good ship  Nave Andromeda, in a union between a man and a symbol of why we … Continue reading

October 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Jeffrey Toobin and Rudy Giuliani were just applying hand sanitizer gel

Trump’s personal lawyer and CNN’s analyst have rigorously defended themselves, against the accusation that they have pleasured themselves on camera; a spokesman replied: ‘Both men have regularly appeared on TV … Continue reading

October 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

Marcus Rashford finally makes Man Utd likeable

Decades of footballing bitterness and resentment have been erased by one Manchester United player choosing to use his position to save children, rather than fake a last-minute penalty claim.  Marcus … Continue reading

October 27, 2020 · Leave a comment

Teachers to replace BLM with the songs of Lawrence Fox

News that the Equalities Minister has declared that any mention of the dangers of ‘white privilege’ is illegal, has ironically been welcomed by a lot of privileged, white folk.  The … Continue reading

October 26, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: The woman with man-child in her eye

The woman with man-child in her eye (from Paula_Thacker)   Mary could still see the lecher coming towards her… (from Caitlin88Brooks) The very definition of short-sighted government (from J.Franks123) Eye-sore … Continue reading

October 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Poppy Season to now coincide with Easter

With Keir Starmer insisting Poppies be worn in early October, MPs have now agreed that a ‘minor religious holiday’ should be replaced with two weeks of uninterrupted Poppy fetishism.  Explained … Continue reading

October 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

Zero evidence to suggest Northerners don’t’ wash their hands – but it sounds true

There is a growing suspicion amongst those who have never been north of the Watford gap, that Covid hotspots are caused by unsanitary Geordies and Liverpudlians who take baths with … Continue reading

October 21, 2020 · Leave a comment

Keir Starmer warns of safety issues aboard the Titanic

There is a growing perception that ‘Sir Keith’ is wise after the event but relatively clueless during it; which is not helped by the fact that he has spent the … Continue reading

October 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

Bushel receives staggeringly large electricity bill

Southern Electric (SE) have discovered that tens of millions of people have been deliberately hiding their skills and thus avoiding peak-rate electricity bills.  By concealing their light under a rudimentary … Continue reading

October 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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