Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

The Ghost of Christmas Furniture reminds you to put up shelves


A man from Hull, Michael Khatri, was recently visited by three alarming visions – the ghosts of Past Decoration Promises, of DIY Presents and of Furniture Construction.  This Dickensian nightmare was made more ironic by the fact that Michael had promised his wife that he would make their lounge look like ‘a scene from Dickens’, but had so far only managed to create the ambiance of 19th century squalor.

In the run up to Christmas, it has become painfully obvious that many household projects remain unfinished; be it squeaky floorboards, the flaking walls or removing that stain from the living room carpet, which looks strangely like Simon Cowell.  Worst still, is that Mr. Khatri has a fitted wardrobe to assemble, acquired during the previous January sales, which is resting – fully boxed – on the staircase.

The Ghost of Christmas Furniture said: ‘This year I’ll be bringing Michael an IKEA fitted kitchen.  In one scenario, he finishes the job and his family have a wonderous Christmas.  In the other scenario, Tiny Tim dies of starvation after getting trapped in a cupboard, which Michael installed backwards’.

Michael was more stoic about the situation:  ‘I favour Hard Times over a Christmas Carol.  Besides I still need to fix the broken loo seat, or as my wife calls it, A Tale of Two Shitties’.

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Information

This entry was posted on December 23, 2020 by in UK Lifestyle and tagged , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,516 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 47,494 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

NewsBiscuit 15 Years of Typos

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: