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The Truth about Goats

Caption Competition: As the blades started rotating, someone in the press corps shouted ‘jump’

WINNER: As the blades started rotating, someone in the press corps shouted ‘jump’ (from Sarah Betz)   Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out (from Starz&Stripping) … Continue reading

February 27, 2021 · 1 Comment

Covid Research Group not really understanding the word ‘Research’

A group of lockdown-sceptic back-bench MPs have tried to give the impression of thoughtful scientific study, by dropping in the word ‘Research’ – in place of ‘Dumbwittery’. This was the … Continue reading

February 25, 2021 · Leave a comment

Russell Brand finally uses all of the words – just in one sentence

The vlogger, guru, and winner, in 12 B.C. of Nazareth’s Messiah of the Year competition, has finally combined the whole of the Oxford English Dictionary into one sentence.  Pausing only … Continue reading

February 24, 2021 · Leave a comment

Hancock: Care Home residents get one visitor – the Grim Reaper

The Health Minister has promised to ease lockdown to by allowing the elderly to have one visitor, which could be a health insurer, an undertaker or someone selling Saga holidays.  … Continue reading

February 23, 2021 · Leave a comment

Report claims Extinction Rebellion infiltrated by environmentalists

Lord Walney, ex-Labour MP and ex-alleged sex pest, has been tasked with weeding out the radical elements of radical groups, with the aim of making them more appealing to corporate … Continue reading

February 22, 2021 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Contractors giving evidence at Grenfell enquiry bring samples of cladding used to court, but nip out for a quick fag break first.

WINNER: Contractors giving evidence at Grenfell enquiry bring samples of cladding used to court, but nip out for a quick fag break first. (from Scribblans)     RUNNERS UP Chris … Continue reading

February 20, 2021 · 3 Comments

UK terrorism threat level lowered to ‘substantial’ – like a pub meal

Britain’s threat level has been downgraded to that of a scotch egg or basket of cheesy chips.  In line with their guidance on Tier 2 eating, any terrorist activities must … Continue reading

February 18, 2021 · Leave a comment

Artex proves immune to Iran’s ‘wallpaper’ spy app

‘Check Point’, the American-Israeli security expert, says that Iran is tracking dissidents through a variety of Apps – all of them bizarre and all completely avoidable if you have a … Continue reading

February 17, 2021 · Leave a comment

Starmer’s poll dance with Union Jack backfires

The so-called Leader of the Opposition has failed to inspire voters with his rampant mounting of the nearest flag, mainly because this act of patriotism was undermined by his indiscriminate … Continue reading

February 16, 2021 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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