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Scientists now fear that the Union Jack may become sentient


Evidence is mounting that the UK’s national flag is starting to exhibit human emotions, such as rage, more rage, and an unhealthy desire for warm beer. The Union Jack itself … Continue reading

March 31, 2021 · Leave a comment

Man finds Pokémon in bed with his wife


Avid Pokémon Go enthusiast, Adam Brooks (34), was less than enthusiastic about finding the elusive ‘Mew’ in bed with his wife.  The couple were caught ‘inflagranti’ – which ironically sounds … Continue reading

March 30, 2021 · Leave a comment

Starmer asks Tories to take over running of Labour Party


Having conceded that he is incapable of sorting problems in Liverpool, the Leader of the Opposition has decided the day job ‘may be too much for him’. A spokeswoman acknowledged: … Continue reading

March 29, 2021 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘Norman Stanley Fletcher….’


WINNER: ‘Norman Stanley Fletcher….’ (from BrainBox65) RUNNERS UP Who was that masked villain? (from Jean Paul Crome) Short on height, shorter on sentence (from Kink888) Dave instantly regretted saluting and … Continue reading

March 27, 2021 · Leave a comment

Judge rules that ‘personal truth’ not quite the same as actual truth


Today, the High Court was thrown into disarray when notorious bank robber, Harry Holman (46), offered as his defence his own subjective reality, in clear contradiction with the fact he … Continue reading

March 25, 2021 · Leave a comment

Sauron started with cock-rings


Tolkien academics have unearthed a draft manuscript, where the self-styled Lord of the Rings, indulges in fetish metallurgy. In the Fellowship of the Toe Ring, Sauron is caught offering the … Continue reading

March 24, 2021 · Leave a comment

Nurses to be paid in nuclear warheads


The Government has promised to supplement its derisory 1% pay rise to nurses, with a season’s pass to their nuclear stockpile and free rides on a tank.  Nurses will be … Continue reading

March 23, 2021 · Leave a comment

Covid applauds Swiss ban on face coverings


Air born diseases have expressed support for the Swiss referendum victory, on whether women with hats are scary and if everyone wants to catch more Covid. The Swiss People’s Party … Continue reading

March 22, 2021 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: The real President watched Joe play with crayons


WINNER: The real President watched Joe play with crayons  (from RobynSocks2)   RUNNERS UP Well Joe, now you’ve signed, the deal for three years as President in exchange for your … Continue reading

March 20, 2021 · 1 Comment

Reformation (play script)

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