The Truth about Goats
The Prime Minister helped to put the Covid crisis into perspective, by reminding people how cringeworthy Will Ferrell’s warbling is. Promising to ease lockdown, Mr Johnson said that any rise in the R level would be offset, by not having multi-millionaire Pedro Pascal chant ‘Imagine no possessions’ without a hint of irony.
Should more people die as a result of the Government’s incompetence and corruption, the PM agreed that Gal Gadot would get nowhere near a microphone. Hollywood stars would be banned from tasteless displays of mawkish sentimentality – which should really put the brakes on James Corden.
Nobody, not matter how much they are suffering, wants to hear protest songs sung by people who have two separate maids to make their bed. Said one Covid sufferer: ‘I’d recently lost my Nan to this virus, but I’m just grateful she’ll never hear the cast of The Soprano’s singing ‘Say It Loud – I’m Black and I’m Proud’.’
The healing nature of music is all very well, but in the event of the Coronavirus, most people would opt for a functioning ventilator. Remarked one fan of John Lennon: “And all the world will be as one’, sounds like something Covid would say’.