The Truth about Goats
While M&S and Aldi are embroiled in their own lawsuit, a Dutch horror firm is claiming they invented the original human/insect cake hybrid. A spokeswoman said: ‘Ours was the first to feature a chocolatey fountain – at both ends. Ours had three faces not one, although Colin does look a lot more jolly’.
Malcolm the Human centipede was a complicated cake, with three conjoined sections – using marzipan, smarties and Nazi medical experiments. The sweet treat was particularly family-centred, as all three sections (Malcolm, Sarah & Greta) were all related.
M&S denied their Colin was an S&M homage, a store manager replied: ‘Why would we want that kind of abomination on our shelves? We already got enough criticism for our glittery salmon and cream cheese flavoured crisps.’
The Horror firm responded: ‘They even look identical, theirs is covering in brown chocolate and ours was certainly brown’