The Truth about Goats
Blah, blah, blah of course you are still reading, blah blah blah just on the off chance we mention Diana again. We could even recycle something from ten years ago and you just would not care. We could even use extracts from a Dan Brown novel and you would still wade through all that sh$t for England’s Rose.
There is something about a butler or ‘that dress’. Or was it her sad boys, dashing lovers or helping AIDS victims through a field of landmines? It was about how terrible and wonderful ‘Schrodinger’s monarchy’ is. It was doe eyes, George Michael’s pomade and failing her O levels twice.
This paragraph is clearing about the chemical composition of cheese, which is 31.23% Protein, Lipids 34.39%, Water 30.18%, Mineral ions 4.31% and 0.0000000001% Princess Diana. Ah, there she is! You see, it was worth reading through all that mind-numbing ephemera, just for the merest whiff of her perfume, which now smells of stilton.
A close friend, who she had never met, said: ‘She’s not dead, she can never die. Not while people hold her memory. Or while newspaper editors have lazy articles to shift and I get to appear on all the TV chat shows’. It does not even need to make sense, explained one journalist: ‘Diana, Diana, Lobster’.