The Truth about Goats
After the damming testimony of Dominic Cummings, the Labour Leader has opted to damn the government with faint praise. Instead of calling for resignations, Keir called for an enquiry similar to the ones into Hillsborough, Orgreave and O.J. Simpson.
A spokeswoman explained: ‘We don’t want to set a precedent of holding Prime Ministers account, just in case we get elected. Now is not the time to overreact. Yes, 150000 people died but there are millions more to go’.
As DPP, Keir was infamous for setting up night courts to prosecute petty theft, but he seemed reticent about doing the same for industrial scale corporate manslaughter. Instead, he now recommended community service on a Board of Directors and if they play their cards right, a knighthood, explained Sir Keir.
‘It’s like when he was asked to prosecute Jimmy Saville. He had to forensically weigh hundreds of witness accounts, against the chance of getting a ‘Jim’ll fix it’ badge. Or in this case Keith’ll fix it’