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Nation admits ‘Mindfulness’ is a ‘crock of sh$t’


While experts acknowledge that the UK has the emotional resilience of blancmange, many now agree that ‘mindfulness’ is just a scam to sell books, josticks and to fill up Spa … Continue reading

July 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

NHS charges Hamilton for ‘parking at work’


Despite his victory at Silverstone, Lewis Hamilton has had his Mercedes impounded until he pays the outstanding ticket for his pit-stop on lap 32.  As with all NHS Staff, Mr … Continue reading

July 19, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hammond: ‘Public servants are oversexed, overpaid and over here’


While plucky Brexit Ministers are fighting for our freedom on the Continent, many public workers stationed in Britain are flaunting their wealth.  Firefighters line the streets offering nylons and cigarettes … Continue reading

July 18, 2017 · Leave a comment

Pub landlord admits he is not an interior designer


Much to the surprise of locals and art historians, Malcolm Broadbridge (of Shanklin’s ‘Red Lion’) has confessed that his eclectic decor was not due to five years studying at La … Continue reading

July 17, 2017 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Disneyland Raqqa was still struggling to attract visitors. (from Al O’Pecia)


WINNER: Disneyland Raqqa was still struggling to attract visitors. (from Al O’Pecia) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 16th July 2017 RUNNERS UP New Ride “The Occupia” Here … Continue reading

July 16, 2017 · 1 Comment

 Ban on child sex robots sitting SATs


While two-fifths of primary pupils have failed their curriculum exams, three-fifths passed because their canny parents used an android-surrogate. Originally, robot ethicists had been concerned that these robots would be … Continue reading

July 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Chilcot: ‘Blair is a lying bastard, I’m not sure I can be any clearer?’


A year after the ‘Who put Pinocchio in charge?’ report was published, Sir John Chilcot has felt the need to clarify his position on everyone’s favourite ‘lying sack of sh$t’.  … Continue reading

July 12, 2017 · 2 Comments

Ivanka replaces Cersei as everyone’s favourite Queen Regent


The G20 summit was surprised to find that Ivanka Trump had assumed the mantle of President of the United States, Lord of Twitter and Protector of the Seven Kingdoms (all … Continue reading

July 11, 2017 · Leave a comment

Even the Big Bad Wolf questions UK’s building regulations


Following the Grenfell Tower fire, over 600 UK buildings have been labelled dangerously unfit to house cockroaches, let alone a family of pigs.  Normally the Big Bad Wolf would fully … Continue reading

July 10, 2017 · Leave a comment

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