Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Hayfever can f$ck right off


A collection of distinguished academics have come to the conclusion that hayfever is a ‘whiny little bitch’, who can go ‘do one’. Years of painstaking research have revealed that allergic … Continue reading

August 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

Imagining Boris’s sex life causes pound to sink to 28-month low


  As news that the UK’s newest PM and oldest blagger had installed his ‘lover’ in No.10, currency markets were forced to concede that he had probably already ‘spaffed on … Continue reading

August 6, 2019 · Leave a comment

You no longer need to pretend you’ve seen ‘Love Island’


  Having reached its season finale, fraudulent fans of the ITV reality show, can go back to feigning interest in other fake relationships – such as Harry & Meghan, Boris … Continue reading

August 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Calais, November 1st, 2019. In the absence of the promised planes and ferries, expats make their own way home.


WINNER: Calais, November 1st, 2019. In the absence of the promised planes and ferries, expats make their own way home. (from Bryntin) RUNNERS UP New microscope reveals surprise image of … Continue reading

August 3, 2019 · 1 Comment

Blair unable to return to Narnia


Every few weeks the Hague’s ‘most wanted’ ex-Prime Minister, does a tour of the chat-shows, safe in the knowledge no one remembers his legacy or how to do a citizen’s … Continue reading

August 1, 2019 · Leave a comment

Weather Presenters to stop being so jolly about the death of the environment


A leaked memo reveals that weather ‘personalities’ have been told to ratchet down the excitable banter about ‘scorching weekends’, ‘bikini bank-holidays’ and ‘Pandas on fire’. Instead of celebrating rising sea … Continue reading

July 31, 2019 · Leave a comment

Tom Watson is Judge Dredd


  The Deputy Leader of the Labour Party has signalled his intention to ride into Mega-City One and shoot ‘anti-Semitic perps’ or anyone in the queue for Glastonbury.  Emboldened, ‘Judge … Continue reading

July 30, 2019 · Leave a comment

Game of Thrones fans disappointed by ‘Boris is King’ finale


Having waited through several seasons of blood-letting, Euro-cides and the occasional Esther McVey nipple; GOT fans were fuming that such poorly written character gets to be PM. Boris Johnson now … Continue reading

July 29, 2019 · Leave a comment

Tankers for the memories


Who said the age of romance and piracy is not dead? Iran, the UK and the US are all desperate to hold onto any little memento of one another, particular … Continue reading

July 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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