Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

You can’t ban Katie Hopkins you have to sprinkle salt on her

In attempting to permanently remove Katie Hopkins from their platform, Twitter have made the classic error of not putting a stake through her heart, or at the very least, using … Continue reading

June 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Neolithic monument found at Stonehenge, was Matt Hancock’s first Tracing App

Archaeologists have confirmed that the recently discovered ring of prehistoric shafts, were in fact a rudimentary attempt by the Health Secretary to monitor the spread of Coronavirus, while ensuring favourable … Continue reading

June 23, 2020 · Leave a comment

Grenfell? What’s that?

MPs of all persuasions seemed to be suffering from collective amnesia when it comes to solving a fairly straightforward whodunnit. Three years has elapsed since the corporate manslaughter of 72 … Continue reading

June 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: ‘He’s taking this Social Distancing a bit serious, int he?’

‘He’s taking this Social Distancing a bit serious, int he?’ (from Inchcock) RUNNERS UP MoD deny missile cutbacks (from SaddyGrant) The Bumps – when your friends leave you hanging (from … Continue reading

June 21, 2020 · 1 Comment

Zoos reopen – Lions excited about 2 metre distancing

Boris Johnson has announced that safari parks will open on June 15th and insisted that a two-metre exclusion zone from a rhino, is just enough to give you a head … Continue reading

June 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Slytherin expel JK Rowling for being too nasty

In an extraordinary show of support for the Transgender community, Hogwarts’ board of trustees have removed their creator – citing that there was ‘only room for one Voldemort’. The Sorting … Continue reading

June 17, 2020 · Leave a comment

White privilege is changing the TV scheduling and thinking you solved racism

As well-meaning at it may be, banning one episode from a 1970’s sitcom, does not make up for 2,000 years of racism. Worryingly, TV executives seem to think that casting … Continue reading

June 16, 2020 · Leave a comment

Far-right thugs start the football season early

The Football Association has been forced to explain that the crowd violence seen in Trafalgar Square, was not Millwall FC celebrating a goal. Remarked one hooligan: ‘Getting pissed, hurling bottles, … Continue reading

June 15, 2020 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Face mask nerd style

Face mask nerd style (From Kobi627) Peter Crouch still doing the robot (from MikeSilver3) One of Nature’s warning signs (from JessWhillet) Space Force takes to the streets (from Fado6y) This … Continue reading

June 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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