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The Truth about Goats

Cardinal Newman accidentally burnt as witch

In a tragic turn of events, an administration error has meant that John Henry Newman’s two ‘miracles’ have now been recognized as ‘spells’. Although the Catholic Church is big fan … Continue reading

October 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

God: ‘Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but I’d rather have had the cash’

A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His … Continue reading

June 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Pope: Keeping a nun as a sex slave is no longer cool

It may have taken 2000 years to reach the conclusion, but the Catholic Church is now ‘definitely…almost certainly’ against abuse or at the very least is unhappy when it gets … Continue reading

April 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

French Police hunt arsonist with distinctive curvature of the spine

Officials now believe that fire in Notre-Dame Cathedral may have been started by a dissatisfied bell-ringer, aggrieved by his medieval working conditions and lack of orthopaedic chairs. A Mr. Q. … Continue reading

April 18, 2019 · Leave a comment

Strike Corbyn down, he’ll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

Soldiers of the 3rd battalion parachute regiment have discovered to their cost, that a renationalized postal service cannot be defeated by bullets alone. Despite firing 50 rounds of ammunition into … Continue reading

April 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Leadsom solves Islamophobia by deporting all Muslims

In what should have been a tricky question about racism, the Leader of the House of Commons adroitly sidefooted the issue by reclassifying British Muslims as foreign. By saying Islamophobia … Continue reading

March 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Man fails miserably not to judge Sinead O’Connor

Despite biting his tongue for all of two minutes, Tom Beggs (44) has risen to the challenge of pontificating on a subject he knows ‘f’all about’.  Now that Sinead O’Connor … Continue reading

October 30, 2018 · Leave a comment

Popes to be elected using Vape

In a week where E-Cig manufacturers pressure MP’s to extend vaping laws , the Vatican has confirmed that they will be employing a Benedictine Monk with a ‘sixty a day … Continue reading

October 10, 2018 · Leave a comment

Joseph & Mary disappointed by baby gender test

A young couple from Galilee are said to be upset by a Non-Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT) conducted by the Holy Ghost.  While they would have preferred to keep their child’s … Continue reading

September 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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