Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Remainers spotted entering Ark two by two


  Wide spread flooding throughout the UK, has led to Londoners and people wearing blue face-paint boarding a wooden vessel, 300 cubits long and sailing under an EU flag. Storm … Continue reading

February 27, 2020 · Leave a comment

92yr old man says celibacy is easy


The retired Pope, Benedict XVI, has said priests should remain celibate, despite himself being in his sexual prime.  He boasted, at 92 he could have any woman he wanted – … Continue reading

January 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Labour Hustings to involve a ducking stool


  Candidates for the leadership of the Labour Party will forced to undergo a series of ordeals to test their socialist purity.  They will dumped in a lake of media … Continue reading

January 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Cardinal Newman accidentally burnt as witch


In a tragic turn of events, an administration error has meant that John Henry Newman’s two ‘miracles’ have now been recognized as ‘spells’. Although the Catholic Church is big fan … Continue reading

October 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

God: ‘Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but I’d rather have had the cash’


A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His … Continue reading

June 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Pope: Keeping a nun as a sex slave is no longer cool


It may have taken 2000 years to reach the conclusion, but the Catholic Church is now ‘definitely…almost certainly’ against abuse or at the very least is unhappy when it gets … Continue reading

April 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

French Police hunt arsonist with distinctive curvature of the spine


Officials now believe that fire in Notre-Dame Cathedral may have been started by a dissatisfied bell-ringer, aggrieved by his medieval working conditions and lack of orthopaedic chairs. A Mr. Q. … Continue reading

April 18, 2019 · Leave a comment

Strike Corbyn down, he’ll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine


Soldiers of the 3rd battalion parachute regiment have discovered to their cost, that a renationalized postal service cannot be defeated by bullets alone. Despite firing 50 rounds of ammunition into … Continue reading

April 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Leadsom solves Islamophobia by deporting all Muslims


In what should have been a tricky question about racism, the Leader of the House of Commons adroitly sidefooted the issue by reclassifying British Muslims as foreign. By saying Islamophobia … Continue reading

March 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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