Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Neolithic monument found at Stonehenge, was Matt Hancock’s first Tracing App

Archaeologists have confirmed that the recently discovered ring of prehistoric shafts, were in fact a rudimentary attempt by the Health Secretary to monitor the spread of Coronavirus, while ensuring favourable … Continue reading

June 23, 2020 · Leave a comment

Michael Gove’s bookshelf contains the Necronomicon

Sarah Vine defended her husband’s choice of literature; which included The Grand Grimoire and the complete works of Dan Brown. She explained that Michael was not an admirer of Cthulhu … Continue reading

May 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Easter ruined by spoilers

Fans of the Bible franchise have complained that the conclusion to the season has been leaked online; along with photos of Jesus posing with Brandon Stark. Worshippers had been left … Continue reading

April 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

Remainers spotted entering Ark two by two

  Wide spread flooding throughout the UK, has led to Londoners and people wearing blue face-paint boarding a wooden vessel, 300 cubits long and sailing under an EU flag. Storm … Continue reading

February 27, 2020 · Leave a comment

92yr old man says celibacy is easy

The retired Pope, Benedict XVI, has said priests should remain celibate, despite himself being in his sexual prime.  He boasted, at 92 he could have any woman he wanted – … Continue reading

January 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Labour Hustings to involve a ducking stool

  Candidates for the leadership of the Labour Party will forced to undergo a series of ordeals to test their socialist purity.  They will dumped in a lake of media … Continue reading

January 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Cardinal Newman accidentally burnt as witch

In a tragic turn of events, an administration error has meant that John Henry Newman’s two ‘miracles’ have now been recognized as ‘spells’. Although the Catholic Church is big fan … Continue reading

October 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

God: ‘Thanks for the thoughts and prayers but I’d rather have had the cash’

A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His … Continue reading

June 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Pope: Keeping a nun as a sex slave is no longer cool

It may have taken 2000 years to reach the conclusion, but the Catholic Church is now ‘definitely…almost certainly’ against abuse or at the very least is unhappy when it gets … Continue reading

April 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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