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The Truth about Goats

Katy Perry fails to stop killing Nuns for Lent

Despite her promises to the contrary, the American singer and songwriter has continued with her murderous campaign against religious figures and penguin look-alikes.  While others use Easter as a time … Continue reading

March 14, 2018 · 2 Comments

Scrap of tinsel set to outlast Jesus

The scraggly remains of some seasonal decoration, sellotaped to the underside of your bannister, has already hung on longer than your commitment to the gym, your resolution to phone your … Continue reading

February 21, 2018 · Leave a comment

Twas the night before Brexit (- at this rate, probably by December 2026)

Twas the night before Brexit and all through the House Of Commons, no sex occurred. No hand down a blouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, With … Continue reading

December 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

Boss pauses from haranguing staff to criticise their lack of Xmas spirit

After a year of soul-crushing effort and constant abuse, staff have surprised their Office Manager, Paul Broadley, by opting out of his ‘seasonal’ karaoke – sans backing-track – and . … Continue reading

December 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Rees-Mogg opposed to contraception but ‘will cum on your tits’

The Tory backbencher and dyspeptic Harry Potter impersonator, has said that he is morally opposed to all forms of abortion; even in the event of the child becoming a Socialist. … Continue reading

September 12, 2017 · 4 Comments

Turkey’s jihadist curriculum ‘not traditional enough’, says Gove

While generally in favour of the controversial plan to give Turkey’s children a more religious and conservative education, the UK’s former Education Secretary said there was a missed opportunity to … Continue reading

September 4, 2017 · Leave a comment

End of Days feels a bit like the 70s

As we rush towards Armageddon, observers have noted that there are less fiery lakes and zombie hordes than expected – and a lot more bin strikes. With nuclear threat, a … Continue reading

August 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

Pope confirms Satan is a Celiac

In outlawing gluten-free bread for Holy Communion, the Bishop of Rome has decreed that an intolerance to wheat is a clear sign of witchery and being unnecessarily fussy about doughnuts. … Continue reading

August 3, 2017 · Leave a comment

Five ‘lost’ Archbishops caught with Poké Ball

A triumphant eight year old boy has become the first person to capture all Archbishops of Canterbury, alive and dead, using his Pokémon Go skills and saucer of milk.  The … Continue reading

May 10, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)


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