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The Truth about Goats

Sauron started with cock-rings


Tolkien academics have unearthed a draft manuscript, where the self-styled Lord of the Rings, indulges in fetish metallurgy. In the Fellowship of the Toe Ring, Sauron is caught offering the … Continue reading

March 24, 2021 · Leave a comment

Elijah Wood has not aged since 1995


Scientists have confirmed that the film actor has not changed since the early nineties, a disorder called ‘Noel Gallagher’s disease’.  Through a mix up between the Fountain of Eternal Youth, … Continue reading

March 11, 2021 · Leave a comment

Author unable to think of non-smutty use of the word jiggle


Struggling author, ‏Sahadar Anthar (37), has finally concluded that there is no way to incorporate ‘jiggle’ into her book, without raising a smirk from 13-year old boys and summoning the … Continue reading

March 3, 2021 · Leave a comment

Panic ensues after everyone writes a book under Lockdown


Terror threat levels are on high alert, as some of your family are now asking for you to cast a causal eye over this manuscript they have been working on.  … Continue reading

February 1, 2021 · Leave a comment

Bushel receives staggeringly large electricity bill


Southern Electric (SE) have discovered that tens of millions of people have been deliberately hiding their skills and thus avoiding peak-rate electricity bills.  By concealing their light under a rudimentary … Continue reading

October 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

Bad Faith Actor wins Oscar


Against stiff competition from Dame Judi Dench in the Fast & Furious 10; this year’s most impressive performance has come from everyone else deliberately feigning concern for something they could … Continue reading

July 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Celebs demand free speech, so the rest of you can ‘shut yer face’


One hundred or so leading writers have signed an open letter in support of the concept of free speech, specifically their own free speech. While long time civil-rights campaigners are … Continue reading

July 15, 2020 · Leave a comment

Taylor Swift blasts ‘toxic male privilege’, as worst band name ever


Having been named as Billboard’s woman of the decade, Taylor Swift took the opportunity to slam misogyny in the music industry – not knowing that ‘slam misogyny’ was the funk-fusion … Continue reading

January 22, 2020 · Leave a comment

JK cancels ‘Harriet Potter & the Closet of Secrets’


Going the full Dolores Umbridge, J.K.Rowling has embraced her inner Terf and came out online in support for anti-trans views. Pausing between writing as a man, the billionaire author made … Continue reading

January 2, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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