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Category Archives: International Environmental

Hummingbirds admit to not knowing the words

Naturalists have confirmed that North American Hummingbird has faked knowing the words to the Star-Spangled Banner. Instead, they have been hiding at the back of the choir, mouthing the lyrics, … Continue reading

March 8, 2021 · Leave a comment

Gender reveal parties to now reveal the gender of your Fire Marshall

California has suffered a second, in as many months, devastating wildfire caused by party pyrotechnics.  So elaborate and dangerous are gender reveal gatherings, that balloons come with a choice of … Continue reading

September 9, 2020 · Leave a comment

One-fifth of Earth’s ocean floor is now mapped – thanks to broken Satnav

Mr & Mrs Agnew of Port Talbot have inadvertently driven their Ford Focus across 14.5 million sq. km of sub-nautical landscape, after a disagreement over which is the quickest route … Continue reading

June 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

Don’t worry about the Amazon rainforest – we have a spare

Concerns over the wilful destruction of the world’s main source of oxygen may be premature, as Rodell Clarke (43) has planted a new ‘Forest Pansy’ in his front garden. Measuring … Continue reading

September 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Trump will nuke hurricanes if sanctions don’t work

Reports that President Trump repeatedly threatened to fire nuclear weapons to stop hurricanes, have been dismissed as alarmist, as he had not given up on finding a diplomatic solution first. … Continue reading

September 3, 2019 · Leave a comment

Elton John and Prince Harry offset carbon footprint by planting more poor people

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have avoided criticism of taking four private jet journeys in 11 days, by agreeing to plant a forest the size of Wales, over Wales. … Continue reading

August 28, 2019 · Leave a comment

Weather Presenters to stop being so jolly about the death of the environment

A leaked memo reveals that weather ‘personalities’ have been told to ratchet down the excitable banter about ‘scorching weekends’, ‘bikini bank-holidays’ and ‘Pandas on fire’. Instead of celebrating rising sea … Continue reading

July 31, 2019 · Leave a comment

Coal rebranded as ‘Liberty Nuggets’

Having renamed gas exports as ‘molecules of freedom’, the US energy department has taken the unusual step of calling carbon emissions ‘God’s breath’, global warming is described as ‘frost redemption’ … Continue reading

July 8, 2019 · Leave a comment

McDonalds to replace straws with hypodermic needles

Bowing to environmental pressure and an increased demand for saturated fat, McDonalds will be allowing customers to inject, snort or smoke their ‘offal of choice’.  There are various options, with … Continue reading

June 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

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