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Category Archives: International Environmental

McDonalds to replace straws with hypodermic needles


Bowing to environmental pressure and an increased demand for saturated fat, McDonalds will be allowing customers to inject, snort or smoke their ‘offal of choice’.  There are various options, with … Continue reading

June 28, 2018 · Leave a comment

Microbeads – Bad for the environment but good for your anus


While many aquatic lifeforms will be celebrating the UK’s ban on microbeads, those focused on rectal stimulation will be feeling the thick end of the wedge.  Sadly in an attempt … Continue reading

January 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Hurricane Harvey Weinstein weighed 127bn tonnes


Scientists have managed to calculate the combined weight of all of Film Producer Harvey Weinstein’s molestations.  Throughout the month of August alone he is alleged to have dropped 34 trillion … Continue reading

December 19, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mount Agung erupts in anger over Prince Harry engagement


A slumbering Balinese Fire Goddess has taken exception to proposed nuptials between Meghan Markle and the ‘ginger hotty’ from House of Windsor.  So aggrieved is this green-eyed deity, that 100,000 … Continue reading

November 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Puerto Rico says Trump ‘not a real catastrophe’


Despite mainland US having been declared a state of democratic emergency, citizens of Puerto Rico insist that there have been far worse political disasters; not least of which was Hurricane … Continue reading

October 10, 2017 · 2 Comments

UK pledges £1bn to those Prime Ministers devastated by Hurricane Brexit


While Britain has scraped together a paltry £32m for damaged overseas territories in the wake of Hurricane Irma, the Government said it was still committed to funnelling hundreds of millions … Continue reading

September 14, 2017 · Leave a comment

Turns out, Pandas have been ‘doing anal’ all along


Scientists in the reproductive physiology department at the San Diego Zoo have discovered, through the use of thermal imagining, a general predilection for ‘black and white back-door action’ in the … Continue reading

June 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Antarctica saved from Brexit


Delegates from EU have committed to creating the world’s largest economic ‘bullsh@t-free’ zone.  The Ross Sea in Antarctica will now be designated immune to any speculation about Article 50, bogus … Continue reading

November 16, 2016 · Leave a comment

World agrees to lower 2 degrees of Kevin Bacon


An historic accord was reached in Paris, with the world’s leaders pledging to save a global film trivia challenge, which had threatened to lose ‘all credibility’ as a serious drinking … Continue reading

January 13, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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