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Category Archives: International Science

Netanyahu annexes Moon


Having secured an historic fifth term in office, President Netanyahu reiterated his commitment to a Greater Israel by expanding into nearby territory, 230,000 miles away. Despite crashing into the lunar … Continue reading

April 15, 2019 · Leave a comment

Moon probe still wrapped in KitKat wrapper


With almost 50 years of lunar technology available, the Chinese space agency has still opted to use the contents of a lunch-box to protect the delicate Chang’e-4.  The first images … Continue reading

January 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

China Moon Mission: Pink Floyd album an elaborate scam


Having landed on the dark side of the moon, Chinese scientists have confirmed a complete lack of quadraphonic music and ‘almost no evidence’ of 1970’s prog-rock.   Instead, the Chang’e-4 probe … Continue reading

January 14, 2019 · Leave a comment

Kilogram to be measured in Greggs’ Pasties


Scientists have agreed to change the definition of 1000 grams to mean something that is simply ‘a bit chunky’.  The fluctuation of the original platinum-based ingot is about 50 parts … Continue reading

November 27, 2018 · Leave a comment

Goats ‘drawn’ to happy human faces at risk of ‘goat-fiddlers’


Scientists have warned of a steep rise in bestiality due to the naïve nature of goats, who are easily lured by lusty looks or the leering face of a Peer … Continue reading

September 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

New organ not for masturbation purposes


Scientists have been disappointed to discover that the human body’s 80th organ, can in no way be used to spice up your love life or attract Russell Brand.  Sadly the … Continue reading

April 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

A slap in the face with a wet fish, not as ‘bad’ as first thought


Scientists have discovered that mankind’s historical aversion to a facial pumelling by a haddock or trout, is nowhere near as unpleasant as Brexit negotiations or five minutes of Keith Lemon.  … Continue reading

March 22, 2018 · 2 Comments

Adolescence lasts until 24, but being a ‘little pr$ck’ is timeless


Sociologists are now suggesting that being obnoxious may extend well beyond the teenage years, citing the House of Commons as a perfect example of regressive behaviour, poor hygiene and hormones … Continue reading

February 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

Doomsday Clock forgot to factor in British Summer Time


The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) has admitted an error in calculating the end of the world; partly down to nuclear proliferation but mainly caused by a confusion between … Continue reading

January 30, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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