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Category Archives: International Sport

Search begins for superstitious reason why England lost


While some might legitimately blame tactics or team selection for under-performance, most will attribute losing to Croatia by not wearing their lucky underwear, with a rabbit’s foot stuffed inside them. … Continue reading

July 16, 2018 · Leave a comment

Nation hides behind pillow


The UK’s stiff upper lip is currently hidden behind 3 inches of cushion as we cower in terror and expectation over the World Cup.  Never has a nation been so … Continue reading

July 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

Johnson resignation triggers World Cup victory celebrations


To the chants of ‘He’s going home! Doofball’s going home’, football fans were united in their glee that Boris Johnson will be exiting at the Semi-Final stage.  Although England are … Continue reading

July 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

NFL players can only drop a knee if they propose


The American football league has said players who kneel during the Star-Spangled Banner, must then follow up with an appropriate romantic gesture: ‘nothing less than five carats’.  Players will be … Continue reading

May 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

DAY ONE: Barcelona still without a win


Fans of FC Barcelona have been left reeling and without a win for more than six hours.  Suicide hotlines have been overwhelmed with fans struggling to deal without constant oxytocin, … Continue reading

April 12, 2018 · Leave a comment

Despite doping scandal, cycling still not a real sport


The Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) select committee has confirmed that ‘no amount of drugs’ can make cycling anything more than ‘a glorified paper-round’.  While Sir Bradley Wiggins & … Continue reading

March 7, 2018 · Leave a comment

Tesla mega-battery will not fit TV remote control


In what is seen as ‘overly elaborate’ plan to stop electricity blackouts interrupting cricket coverage, Southern Australians have installed 100-megawatt batteries into every remote control and mini-fridge.  Also, weighing in … Continue reading

December 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

Red Sox cheat using a Forever Friends elasticated watch


With the aid of a 1980’s Argos catalogue, the Boston Red Sox have been using a range of iconic watches to help their performance – not least of which was … Continue reading

September 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mayweather vs Batman next


With the inevitable spiralling decay that is televised sports, a jaded public have demanded increasingly implausible grudge fights – from Taylor Swift vs. Groping to Trump vs. Godzilla.  The latest of … Continue reading

August 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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