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Category Archives: International Sport

Tesla mega-battery will not fit TV remote control

In what is seen as ‘overly elaborate’ plan to stop electricity blackouts interrupting cricket coverage, Southern Australians have installed 100-megawatt batteries into every remote control and mini-fridge.  Also, weighing in … Continue reading

December 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

Red Sox cheat using a Forever Friends elasticated watch

With the aid of a 1980’s Argos catalogue, the Boston Red Sox have been using a range of iconic watches to help their performance – not least of which was … Continue reading

September 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mayweather vs Batman next

With the inevitable spiralling decay that is televised sports, a jaded public have demanded increasingly implausible grudge fights – from Taylor Swift vs. Groping to Trump vs. Godzilla.  The latest of … Continue reading

August 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mo Farah just grateful to see the back of Quorn

Although finishing his competitive career with a disappointing Silver, in the 5,000m, Mo Farah expressed his relief that he no longer needed to maintain the charade of liking meat-substitute fungus.  … Continue reading

August 22, 2017 · 2 Comments

Corbyn wins Under-20 World Cup

Despite being an Arsenal fan, Jeremy Corbyn has led England’s Under-20s to their first electoral upset since 1966.  Through a combination of ‘kick it and hope’ and Theresa May still … Continue reading

June 14, 2017 · 2 Comments

Blair supports rewriting records from before 2005

The ex-Pm and future-inmate, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, has surprisingly come out in favour of erasing pre-2005 World Records; particularly those that relate to WMD or that other ‘travesty in … Continue reading

May 17, 2017 · Leave a comment

Olympic end coincides with UK erectile dysfunction

As Rio 2016 draws to a close, athletics fans will now have to resort to other methods for increasing blood flow.  Self-esteem and ‘todgers’ are due to sag, as the … Continue reading

August 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

US swimmers claim Rio is a ‘wretched hive of scum and villainy’

The venue for the 2016 Olympics has replaced Mos Eisley Spaceport as the place you are most likely to get kidnapped and wake up a sex-slave in Jabba’s palace.  Even … Continue reading

August 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

How to get that Russian-Ultra beach body.

  Ever wondered how Moscow’s finest hooligans look so ripped, as they rip through the opposition?  Ever wanted a tear-gas inspired six-pack without the tears?  Here are our ten easy … Continue reading

June 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

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