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Category Archives: International Sport

New Super League to feature a competitive circle jerk


Europe’s wealthiest clubs are proposing a breakaway league, based on the sporting principles of The Hunger Games. A select 12 clubs will repeatedly play one another, generating all the suspense … Continue reading

April 26, 2021 · Leave a comment

VAR is Deepfake


FIFA has ordered an urgent enquiry into accusations that all VAR decisions are the result of faked video footage. It has been suggested that every spurious handball decision has been … Continue reading

March 15, 2021 · Leave a comment

Lionel Messi yet to rule out Leyton Orient


Having put in a transfer request with Barcelona, speculation has increased that Mr. Messi will be lighting up Division Two, while working part-time as a plumber.  Orient have emerged as … Continue reading

August 31, 2020 · Leave a comment

UK embarks on nationwide Milgram Experiment


The British public have volunteered to take part in a six-month experiment, to see just how far they will go to obey an authority figure who cannot even wash his … Continue reading

May 26, 2020 · Leave a comment

Newcastle fans not sure who is worst – Saudi Arabia or Sports Direct?


Human Rights watchdogs have warned Newcastle Utd that they could end up being run by perfidious human rights abuser – twice in a row. Swapping Mike Ashley for the Saudi … Continue reading

May 20, 2020 · Leave a comment

BBC reports that Kobe Bryant will continue LeBron James’ legacy


The BBC denied confusing one african-american basketball legend with another and insisted Kobe Bryant would continue to endorse his Air Jordan shoes. Bryant’s obituary read: ‘No one can underestimate his … Continue reading

February 6, 2020 · Leave a comment

Search begins for superstitious reason why England lost


While some might legitimately blame tactics or team selection for under-performance, most will attribute losing to Croatia by not wearing their lucky underwear, with a rabbit’s foot stuffed inside them. … Continue reading

July 16, 2018 · Leave a comment

Nation hides behind pillow


The UK’s stiff upper lip is currently hidden behind 3 inches of cushion as we cower in terror and expectation over the World Cup.  Never has a nation been so … Continue reading

July 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

Johnson resignation triggers World Cup victory celebrations


To the chants of ‘He’s going home! Doofball’s going home’, football fans were united in their glee that Boris Johnson will be exiting at the Semi-Final stage.  Although England are … Continue reading

July 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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