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Category Archives: International Sport

Mo Farah just grateful to see the back of Quorn

Although finishing his competitive career with a disappointing Silver, in the 5,000m, Mo Farah expressed his relief that he no longer needed to maintain the charade of liking meat-substitute fungus.  … Continue reading

August 22, 2017 · 2 Comments

Corbyn wins Under-20 World Cup

Despite being an Arsenal fan, Jeremy Corbyn has led England’s Under-20s to their first electoral upset since 1966.  Through a combination of ‘kick it and hope’ and Theresa May still … Continue reading

June 14, 2017 · 2 Comments

Blair supports rewriting records from before 2005

The ex-Pm and future-inmate, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, has surprisingly come out in favour of erasing pre-2005 World Records; particularly those that relate to WMD or that other ‘travesty in … Continue reading

May 17, 2017 · Leave a comment

Olympic end coincides with UK erectile dysfunction

As Rio 2016 draws to a close, athletics fans will now have to resort to other methods for increasing blood flow.  Self-esteem and ‘todgers’ are due to sag, as the … Continue reading

August 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

US swimmers claim Rio is a ‘wretched hive of scum and villainy’

The venue for the 2016 Olympics has replaced Mos Eisley Spaceport as the place you are most likely to get kidnapped and wake up a sex-slave in Jabba’s palace.  Even … Continue reading

August 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

How to get that Russian-Ultra beach body.

  Ever wondered how Moscow’s finest hooligans look so ripped, as they rip through the opposition?  Ever wanted a tear-gas inspired six-pack without the tears?  Here are our ten easy … Continue reading

June 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Match-fixers still can’t make Tennis interesting

Despite the best efforts of organised crime, secret files reveal widespread ‘boredom’ even at the top levels of the game.  Illicit syndicates may have manipulated the outcome of Wimbledon matches, … Continue reading

February 11, 2016 · Leave a comment

Sepp Blatter shock inclusion on the ‘naughty list’

An internal investigation by FIFA has resulted in an eight year exclusion from footballing activities for Mr. Blatter and his ‘little helper’ UEFA boss, Michel Platini. In further developments Santa … Continue reading

January 5, 2016 · Leave a comment

‘Extreme poverty’ unlikely to become an Olympic sport‏

While five new sports, including ‘Sepp Blatter Accounting’, are set to be added to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, impoverished activities like ‘ultra-privation’ or ‘uber-penury’ are unlikely to make the cut. … Continue reading

October 21, 2015 · Leave a comment

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