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Tate Modern stages retrospective of Clip Art


Renowned as one the twentieth century’s most influential artists, Claus Von Clip is being honoured with a four week exhibition of his pixelated bitmaps. The London gallery will be presenting … Continue reading

June 15, 2015 · Leave a comment

Zayn quits 1D in protest over Clarkson


Pre-pubescent girls around the globe were left reeling from the double disappointment of their two favourite pin-ups leaving to pursue solo projects. Zayn and Clarkson have been long time admirers … Continue reading

March 31, 2015 · Leave a comment

Madonna’s fall raises awareness of care for the elderly


In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 … Continue reading

March 9, 2015 · 2 Comments

Band Aid torn between Ebola and Duck Flu‏


While parts of Africa are ravaged by disease, many music experts think there is more marketing potential in tackling the plight of the ducks of East Yorkshire. To this end … Continue reading

November 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

New ‘Dad’s Army’ cast ill-prepared for Ebola storyline


Scriptwriter Hamish McColl has been told that he needs to ‘reboot’ his big-screen remake of the 70’s sitcom, in a way that reflects the perils of modern warfare. To this … Continue reading

October 22, 2014 · 6 Comments

West End debut for the production of Twelve Angry Non-gender Specific He/Shes


In a commitment to addressing inequality, English theatres have agreed to an extensive programme of gender-neutral plays and musicals. Hoping to bolster the number of female actors on stage, London’s … Continue reading

October 8, 2014 · 5 Comments

Will Self claims he could have written Kate Bush’s songs – ‘only better’


Having already dismissed George Orwell’s contributions to twentieth century literature, as ‘mediocre’, Mr. Self has humbly explained why other artistic icons are not worthy to be considered a genius. To … Continue reading

September 3, 2014 · 2 Comments

Official singles chart to count high-pitched screaming‏


For the first time ever, alongside streaming services, teenagers emitting ultrasonic squeals of delight will be used in calculating album and singles sales. Pant wetting, fainting and ‘poster kissing’ will … Continue reading

August 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

The return of Cats and Evita bring back memories of the Blitz


Thousands of Londoners have been filmed leaving the capital in fear for their Musical sanity, as rumours surface that Andrew Lloyd Webber intends to carpet bomb the West End with ‘theatrical … Continue reading

July 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

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