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‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ misses out on another literary award


  Despite being the world’s most unimaginative colouring-in-book, E.L.James’ BDSM novel has been overlooked once again, in favour of ‘joined up writing’ and ‘syntax’.  Even the release of an eye-catching … Continue reading

March 2, 2016 · Leave a comment

‘Ugly naked guy’ will not return to ‘Top Gear’‏


Although ‘Joey’ from Friends is set to join the new cast of Top Gear, ‘Ugly Naked Clarkson’ has ruled out a return to the BBC’s flagship motoring programme.  The acquisition … Continue reading

February 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

Journalist discovered trapped inside Adele’s anus


At least one member of the music press and upwards of a dozen photographers are thought to have gone too far in trying to ingratiate themselves with the international pop … Continue reading

February 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Bowie dies in Cameron protest


Inspired by ‘The Squeeze’ mocking the Prime Minister on the ‘Andrew Marr Show’, the 70’s pop legend has decided to stage the ‘ultimate snub’ by exiting this mortal coil while … Continue reading

January 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Tate Modern stages retrospective of Clip Art


Renowned as one the twentieth century’s most influential artists, Claus Von Clip is being honoured with a four week exhibition of his pixelated bitmaps. The London gallery will be presenting … Continue reading

June 15, 2015 · Leave a comment

Zayn quits 1D in protest over Clarkson


Pre-pubescent girls around the globe were left reeling from the double disappointment of their two favourite pin-ups leaving to pursue solo projects. Zayn and Clarkson have been long time admirers … Continue reading

March 31, 2015 · Leave a comment

Madonna’s fall raises awareness of care for the elderly


In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 … Continue reading

March 9, 2015 · 2 Comments

Band Aid torn between Ebola and Duck Flu‏


While parts of Africa are ravaged by disease, many music experts think there is more marketing potential in tackling the plight of the ducks of East Yorkshire. To this end … Continue reading

November 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

New ‘Dad’s Army’ cast ill-prepared for Ebola storyline


Scriptwriter Hamish McColl has been told that he needs to ‘reboot’ his big-screen remake of the 70’s sitcom, in a way that reflects the perils of modern warfare. To this … Continue reading

October 22, 2014 · 6 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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