Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Student still pretending to have read ‘Austin’ £10


Gemma Effiong, 17, has finally confessed to having never looked at the Jane Austen-themed tenner and has been relying on Sparknotes for all her currency questions.  When quizzed by her … Continue reading

August 2, 2017 · Leave a comment

Tories propose four new ‘tax holidays’ for bankers


Countering Jeremy Corbyn’s proposal for more public holidays, the Conservative Party plans to offer additional dates for tax avoidance, sub-prime lending and general ‘financial d$ckishness’.  The four new days will … Continue reading

April 26, 2017 · Leave a comment

Corbyn a bigger tax avoider than Google, claims BBC


The BBC has helpfully inferred that Jeremy Corbyn is the primary source of the UK’s tax avoidance.  The Labour leader is said to have caused the underfunding of the NHS, … Continue reading

March 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hammond’s Autumn Statement makes Booker fiction list


The Chancellor is on course to win the nation’s top literary prize for a ‘completely fabricated’ depiction of the British economy.  With his mythical world of unicorns and balanced budgets, … Continue reading

December 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Refugee Chic


British retailers were tonight celebrating the launch of a new fashion brand; soaked in the blood, sweat and tears of child refugees, but with a cheeky hint of haute couture. … Continue reading

November 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

Slavery rise is a tribute to zero-hour contracts


The Home Office has hailed a fivefold increase in reported cases of slavery, as a triumph in deregulation and free-market douchebaggery.  With the Prime Minister promising to defeat modern slavery … Continue reading

August 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

New £5 to advertise Churchill Car Insurance


In an attempt to monetize money and increase the value of the pound, the Bank of England has taken the unlikely decision to feature adverts on their new range of … Continue reading

June 16, 2016 · Leave a comment

McAlpine family happy to smear others


Willing to litigate until the cows come home (and before his own personal chickens come home to roost) the late Lord McAlpine was a staunch defender of people’s reputations – … Continue reading

May 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

UK Steel returns to the Iron Age


David Cameron has set out his vision for the British steel industry, which involves cutting edge technology from the 8th century BC to the 1st century AD. Speaking from a … Continue reading

April 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

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