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The Truth about Goats

Seventy-six pubs ‘shutting per month’ to avoid Nigel Farage


The ex-UKIP leader is threatening to campaign throughout the country, which by ‘country’, he means a photo opportunity with every purveyor of craft ale he can find. Sadly this has … Continue reading

May 15, 2019 · Leave a comment

Theresa May negotiates Brexit extension, with free Broadband


Using comparison website CompareTheMerkel.com, the British Prime Minister has secured a sixth month extension, 33% off pet-insurance and a trial week of Sky Cinema. By shopping around Europe, Mrs May … Continue reading

April 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘Lorraine Kelly’ is code-name for the Cayman Islands


A tribunal has ruled that the bubbly TV host does not actually exist and is in fact an elaborate scam – involving unmarked bills, a human-sized puppet and a Glaswegian … Continue reading

March 27, 2019 · Leave a comment

All bloggers are in the pay of the Gin Cartel


Undercover investigators have revealed that 86% of all parenting posts are an elaborate scheme to get us to enjoy the delights of botanically-infused gins with hint of elderflower and a … Continue reading

February 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

You’re paid less because you’re sh$t at your job


A landmark study has revealed that the wage gap you are experiencing, is simply down to you being worse than your work colleagues. Explained your line-manger: ‘I’m biased, but not … Continue reading

January 21, 2019 · Leave a comment

New 50p Brexit coin to be worth a ‘whopping’ 5p


The Chancellor in his budget has promised a post-Brexit currency made up of ha’pennies, magic beans and the aroma of ‘regret’. While the new 50p will feature the two faces … Continue reading

October 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

Female Dr Who suffers work-based harassment from aliens


Unfortunately the UK’s first female Time Lord has discovered gender imbalances still exist throughout time; particularly given that the TARDIS is only fitted out with urinals.  Worse still, is that … Continue reading

October 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Austerity is over – just not for anyone you know


The Prime Minister has announced that everyone in the UK is now a millionaire, with their own unicorn and that any perception that everything is still ‘sh$t’ is simply the … Continue reading

October 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

May to cut low-skilled workers – starting with her Cabinet


In a bold policy shift, the Prime Minister has said she will clamp down on anyone with a foreign-sounding name acquiring a low-skilled job – which sadly, has the Home … Continue reading

October 8, 2018 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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