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British car industry to be run by Mad Max


Years after the collapse of civilization and several hours after Brexit, a lone road-warrior is to be given the task of rebuilding the UK’s auto industry and fighting off marauding … Continue reading

September 19, 2019 · Leave a comment

Imagining Boris’s sex life causes pound to sink to 28-month low


  As news that the UK’s newest PM and oldest blagger had installed his ‘lover’ in No.10, currency markets were forced to concede that he had probably already ‘spaffed on … Continue reading

August 6, 2019 · Leave a comment

Woman breaks and finally joins Amazon Prime


Tired of pop-ups asking you for your first-born child’s bank details?  Frustrated by checkouts leading you to additional products; such as headphones for your dog or glow-in-the-dark ice cube trays? … Continue reading

July 2, 2019 · Leave a comment

Government to re-nationalize Chris Grayling 


Plans are in motion to return the Secretary for Transport’s brain into public ownership, having previously been outsourced to pack of howler monkeys.  The failed privatization of Mr. Grayling has … Continue reading

May 29, 2019 · Leave a comment

How did you miss the cut for the Sunday Times Rich List?


In a shocking oversight, you have failed yet again to make it on to the ‘Who’s Who of Greed’; this is despite a year of careful financial management including changing … Continue reading

May 20, 2019 · Leave a comment

Seventy-six pubs ‘shutting per month’ to avoid Nigel Farage


The ex-UKIP leader is threatening to campaign throughout the country, which by ‘country’, he means a photo opportunity with every purveyor of craft ale he can find. Sadly this has … Continue reading

May 15, 2019 · Leave a comment

Theresa May negotiates Brexit extension, with free Broadband


Using comparison website CompareTheMerkel.com, the British Prime Minister has secured a sixth month extension, 33% off pet-insurance and a trial week of Sky Cinema. By shopping around Europe, Mrs May … Continue reading

April 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘Lorraine Kelly’ is code-name for the Cayman Islands


A tribunal has ruled that the bubbly TV host does not actually exist and is in fact an elaborate scam – involving unmarked bills, a human-sized puppet and a Glaswegian … Continue reading

March 27, 2019 · Leave a comment

All bloggers are in the pay of the Gin Cartel


Undercover investigators have revealed that 86% of all parenting posts are an elaborate scheme to get us to enjoy the delights of botanically-infused gins with hint of elderflower and a … Continue reading

February 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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