Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Prince Andrew hides in Meghan’s suitcase

Canadian custom officials have discovered an ‘gluttonous lump’ amongst Harry and Meghan’s duty frees.  Closer inspection has revealed the unusual package to be Prince Andrew; who claimed that he was … Continue reading

January 21, 2020 · Leave a comment

Iain Duncan Smith’s address revealed to be 10 Rillington Place

Through an admin error, the New Year’s Honours’list has leaked that IDS resides in the home of a serial killer; one substantially less prolific than the Department for Works and … Continue reading

December 30, 2019 · Leave a comment

Public demand longer prison sentences for murderers, except when it helps

The British press have found themselves in a bit of a quandary, as to whether to condemn James Ford as the killer who assaulted someone on London Bridge or applaud … Continue reading

December 18, 2019 · Leave a comment

Laura Kuenssberg knows what Santa is getting you

Always one for the inside scoop and election tampering, the BBC’s chief political correspondent knows about your internet history, your pin code and that embarrassing nipple hair “that won’t go … Continue reading

December 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris captures notorious phone thief

  The Prime Minister bravely wrestled a stolen mobile phone from an ITV journalist, while at the same time texting Laura Kuenssberg his inside trouser measurement. Naturally the journalist made … Continue reading

December 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Fascists will actually shoot me

Recent concerns that violent language may lead to violence, have been of little consolation to those UK citizens who have discovered that actual violence also leads to violence.  MPs seem … Continue reading

October 28, 2019 · Leave a comment

Mein Kampf sues Daily Mail for copyright infringement

The Daily Mail has been hit by two court cases; firstly, the Duchess of Sussex has claimed they published letters belonging to her, while Adolf Hitler has claimed The Mail … Continue reading

October 14, 2019 · Leave a comment

Supreme Court insists that Boris must be publicly birched

Much to the continuation of Number 10, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Prime Minister must now be dunked in water while tied to a stool, then strapped to … Continue reading

September 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

Tom Watson is Judge Dredd

  The Deputy Leader of the Labour Party has signalled his intention to ride into Mega-City One and shoot ‘anti-Semitic perps’ or anyone in the queue for Glastonbury.  Emboldened, ‘Judge … Continue reading

July 30, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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