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Laura Kuenssberg knows what Santa is getting you


Always one for the inside scoop and election tampering, the BBC’s chief political correspondent knows about your internet history, your pin code and that embarrassing nipple hair “that won’t go … Continue reading

December 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris captures notorious phone thief


  The Prime Minister bravely wrestled a stolen mobile phone from an ITV journalist, while at the same time texting Laura Kuenssberg his inside trouser measurement. Naturally the journalist made … Continue reading

December 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Fascists will actually shoot me


Recent concerns that violent language may lead to violence, have been of little consolation to those UK citizens who have discovered that actual violence also leads to violence.  MPs seem … Continue reading

October 28, 2019 · Leave a comment

Mein Kampf sues Daily Mail for copyright infringement


The Daily Mail has been hit by two court cases; firstly, the Duchess of Sussex has claimed they published letters belonging to her, while Adolf Hitler has claimed The Mail … Continue reading

October 14, 2019 · Leave a comment

Supreme Court insists that Boris must be publicly birched


Much to the continuation of Number 10, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Prime Minister must now be dunked in water while tied to a stool, then strapped to … Continue reading

September 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

Tom Watson is Judge Dredd


  The Deputy Leader of the Labour Party has signalled his intention to ride into Mega-City One and shoot ‘anti-Semitic perps’ or anyone in the queue for Glastonbury.  Emboldened, ‘Judge … Continue reading

July 30, 2019 · Leave a comment

Everyone a racist now, except actual racists


Thanks to social media and white-guilt, it turns out everyone is a closet bigot or at the very least, a ‘wardrobe Danny Baker’. Unfortunately, the side-effect is that we now … Continue reading

July 10, 2019 · Leave a comment

Cocaine denies using Michael Gove


The class A drug has distanced itself from accusations that Michael Gove’s erratic and maniacal behaviour was the result of anything other than too much Michael Gove.  It insisted that … Continue reading

June 12, 2019 · Leave a comment

MP: Solve knife crime by running away


Sir Christopher Robert Chope O.B.E. D.I.P.S.H.I.T., has told a Home Affairs Select committee that the number of knife attacks could be instantly halved if everyone was built like Chuck Norris … Continue reading

April 11, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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