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Police finally track down man who leaves chewing gum in urinals


After decades of investigation and cottaging, police have revealed the identity of the man behind the most notorious of crimes – second only to James Corden’s agent.  Ahmet Hill, of … Continue reading

November 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

UK has ‘biggest audience’ for jihadist blooper reels


Britain can’t get enough of Jihadist propaganda, particularly in the form of kittens being beheaded or suicide bombers slipping on ice – all voiced by Harry ‘al-Baghdadi’ Hill.  A recent … Continue reading

September 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Chilcot: ‘Blair is a lying bastard, I’m not sure I can be any clearer?’


A year after the ‘Who put Pinocchio in charge?’ report was published, Sir John Chilcot has felt the need to clarify his position on everyone’s favourite ‘lying sack of sh$t’.  … Continue reading

July 12, 2017 · 2 Comments

Even the Big Bad Wolf questions UK’s building regulations


Following the Grenfell Tower fire, over 600 UK buildings have been labelled dangerously unfit to house cockroaches, let alone a family of pigs.  Normally the Big Bad Wolf would fully … Continue reading

July 10, 2017 · Leave a comment

Theresa May found with Lord Lucan


The UK Missing Persons Bureau has called off the search for the UK’s Prime Minister, having found her in an attic above 10 Downing Street, alongside Elvis, a stash of … Continue reading

June 1, 2017 · Leave a comment

Custodial sentence for ‘meja studies’, says Judge


According to Judge Ian Pringle QC working towards a medical degree will now exempt you from prison but, he warned, those on the other end of the ‘talent’ spectrum should … Continue reading

May 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Prison now as bad as Geordie Shore


The UK’s prison service has, through woeful underfunding and an influx of illegal narcotics, taken on the characteristics of a Friday night in Newcastle. Fans of the reality show ‘Geordie … Continue reading

March 14, 2017 · Leave a comment

Historical abuse to replace Tudors & Stuarts


The GCSE curriculum is to be revised once more, with historical content more representative of events that have shaped Britain, including – 70’s light entertainers, football coaches and Southern Rail.  … Continue reading

February 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

Theresa May discovers antisemitism ‘is a thing’


With both fingers in the ears of history and her nose in the rectum of modernity , the Prime Minister has revealed that being ‘ghastly to Jews’ may be real.  … Continue reading

January 10, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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