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Gavin Williamson asks if Ecuador still has a spare room?


Wanted for leaking state secrets from the National Security Council, the disgraced Defence Secretary is looking for somewhere to hide from press scrutiny, his own innate stupidity and the smug … Continue reading

May 8, 2019 · Leave a comment

New ‘drone detection’ system involves two paper cups and a piece of string


Security Minister Ben Wallace has insisted that Gatwick will suffer no further disruptions, thanks to a pair of opera glasses and the 1987 Puffin edition of ‘I spy drones’. Using … Continue reading

January 3, 2019 · Leave a comment

Yemen children advised to eat British shrapnel


With 85,000 children, under the age of five, dead from malnutrition – those remaining in Yemen have been advised to ‘tuck in’ to all the delicious debris and mouth-watering, unexploded, … Continue reading

December 3, 2018 · Leave a comment

Salisbury house for sale. Buyer must have own Hazmat suit.


Sergei Skripal’s home has been snapped up by the UK Government, clearly inspired by Sarah Beeny’s ‘Help! My house is full of WMD’.  Said one tax payer: ‘Its great value … Continue reading

July 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

Couple in critical condition after being exposed to ‘pure brexit’


A man and woman found unconscious in Wiltshire may have come into contact with, what chemists are describing as a compound made from ‘Voldemort’s nose, Freddy Krueger’s finger nails and … Continue reading

July 17, 2018 · Leave a comment

Russian spy poisoned for ‘the secret of Brexit’


Double-agent Sergei Skripal is alleged to have been targeted as he knew the UK’s best kept secret – ‘how to make Brexit work’.  This classified information is so secret that … Continue reading

March 13, 2018 · Leave a comment

Profumo shagged Nazis and Communists – what a legend!


GQ magazine has nominated deceased Tory War Minister, John Profumo, as ‘Shagger of the Year’, for his total commitment to getting his end away with a variety of spies.  Unconcerned … Continue reading

December 4, 2017 · Leave a comment

London reels from another Trump tweet


A manhunt is underway for the individual who left an ‘unexploded piece of bullshit’ on social media.  Security services say that the makeshift tweet had all the hallmarks of a … Continue reading

September 19, 2017 · Leave a comment

Van hire technically an act of terrorism


As the Ford Transit becomes the weapon of choice for every would-be killer or decorator, sadly ‘Vanarama’ is now comparable to an Arms Dealership.  In turn this has meant that … Continue reading

July 4, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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