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The Truth about Goats

Profumo shagged Nazis and Communists – what a legend!


GQ magazine has nominated deceased Tory War Minister, John Profumo, as ‘Shagger of the Year’, for his total commitment to getting his end away with a variety of spies.  Unconcerned … Continue reading

December 4, 2017 · Leave a comment

London reels from another Trump tweet


A manhunt is underway for the individual who left an ‘unexploded piece of bullshit’ on social media.  Security services say that the makeshift tweet had all the hallmarks of a … Continue reading

September 19, 2017 · Leave a comment

Van hire technically an act of terrorism


As the Ford Transit becomes the weapon of choice for every would-be killer or decorator, sadly ‘Vanarama’ is now comparable to an Arms Dealership.  In turn this has meant that … Continue reading

July 4, 2017 · Leave a comment

London saved by water cannons


A terrorist attack on Westminster was foiled yesterday by the swift deployment of Boris Johnson’s three water cannons.  Sitting astride the gun turret, Mr. Johnson hosed down bystanders and removed … Continue reading

April 12, 2017 · Leave a comment

War memorial has the face of Tony Blair


Sculptor Paul Day surprised the public by unveiling a sculpture commemorating the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, which has Anthony Charles Lynton Blair’s ‘sh$t eating grin’ plastered across it.  As with … Continue reading

March 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Trident: Coming, unintentionally, to a city near you


The Prime Minister gave her full-throated support for nuclear missile system that has all the accuracy of drunk aiming for the toilet bowl. Despite knowing that Trident was unable to … Continue reading

February 14, 2017 · Leave a comment

UK’s laser weapon will replace flying monkeys


The Minister for Defence Procurement, Harriet Baldwin, has said that Theresa May’s traditional mode of defence – puffing up like an adder – needs to be updated. A £30m prototype … Continue reading

February 7, 2017 · Leave a comment

Dentist identifies MP by his ‘dumb mouth’


Following on from calls by David Davies to x-ray migrants’ teeth, dentists have determined that the age of a Tory can be judged by the amount of bilge coming out … Continue reading

November 3, 2016 · Leave a comment

Boris pledges Syrians extra NHS funding


The Foreign Secretary made a series unsubstantiated promises to end the conflict in Syria – having already delivered so successfully on Brexit, homelessness in London and keeping his ‘Little Johnson’ … Continue reading

October 18, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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