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The Truth about Goats

Once again Eton Career’s Day ends with everyone getting to be PM


Eton’s annual Career’s Fair ended in typical fashion, with 142 Ministers, 15 Actors and 1 King.  The Head of Career’s declared this year’s graduation, at the elite boarding school, ‘decidedly … Continue reading

April 1, 2021 · Leave a comment

Army to bravely assist schools – from a great distance


The Government has indicated that the military will be sent to support teachers facing Coronavirus, but from the safety of webinar filmed inside a nuclear bunker. Explained one General: ‘We … Continue reading

January 6, 2021 · 2 Comments

Pupils to be given exam questions in advance, just like Eton


Extra measures will be introduced this year to ensure that pupils are not disadvantaged due to Covid or by being related to someone ‘a bit working class’.  This means they … Continue reading

December 8, 2020 · Leave a comment

Top UCAS points required to get Oxford Vaccine


The British public have been disappointed to discover that their A level results may not be good enough to qualify for a Covid vaccine.  In fact, most UK citizens will … Continue reading

November 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Gareth Malone admits defeat over GCSE Music


  Known for inspiring choral singing, Mr. Malone has failed to get a group of 30 teenagers to play ‘Baby Shark’ on the recorder.  Surprisingly, being taught last period on … Continue reading

November 11, 2020 · Leave a comment

SAGE confirms that teachers are immune to Covid – because of ‘tweed’


While the UK goes into full Lockdown, it may seem incongruous that teachers are able to go to work, seemingly without ill effect, other than their usual dead, soulless eyes. … Continue reading

November 4, 2020 · Leave a comment

Teachers to replace BLM with the songs of Lawrence Fox


News that the Equalities Minister has declared that any mention of the dangers of ‘white privilege’ is illegal, has ironically been welcomed by a lot of privileged, white folk.  The … Continue reading

October 26, 2020 · Leave a comment

No parties at University renders Higher Education pointless


  University students are facing an uncertain time under lockdown, not about their education but about their opportunity to get completely wasted away from prying eyes.  The general appeal of … Continue reading

September 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Even the Child Catcher thinks schools are unsafe


The UK’s decision to reopen schools with only the merest of safety measures, has alarmed Baron Bomburst, who had been self-isolating since the mysterious disappearance of his wife.  By contrast, … Continue reading

September 17, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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