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The Truth about Goats

Lloyd Webber defeats touts by writing shows no one wants to see

The music empresario and answer to the question ‘what does a melted Hugh Grant look like?’, has decided to stop over-inflated theatre prices, by continuing to make over-inflated shows. He … Continue reading

December 11, 2019 · Leave a comment

Swinson fails in legal bid to join ‘I’m a Celebrity…’

  The SNP and the Lib Dems have been unsuccessful in getting Jo Swinson a spot on Hollyoaks, Holby City and Gardener’s Question Time. Worse still is that ‘I’m Celebrity’ … Continue reading

November 25, 2019 · Leave a comment

Chlamydia Island follow-up ‘not so popular’

Contestants on ITV’s flagship reality-show, have struggled to adjust to life without cameras but with an embarrassing itch in their nether regions. One particular hot-tub session has resulted in a … Continue reading

August 8, 2019 · Leave a comment

You no longer need to pretend you’ve seen ‘Love Island’

  Having reached its season finale, fraudulent fans of the ITV reality show, can go back to feigning interest in other fake relationships – such as Harry & Meghan, Boris … Continue reading

August 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Landlocked pensioner told to stop dumping millions of tonnes of plastic in the ocean 

Harold Burgen (76) has been warned by his local council, that the global eco-system is about to collapse unless he stops consuming 120,000TWh of fossil fuels and eating all the … Continue reading

June 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Jeremy Kyle to have DNA test – humanity in doubt

ITV are under pressure to bring the tabloid talk-show host back for a one off episode, featuring Jeremy Kyle interviewing Jeremy Kyle. Having had his show cancelled due to the … Continue reading

June 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Jess Phillips to quit TV to go into politics

Everyone’s favourite plain-spoken TV-listing, has said she plans to run for election, the moment she finishes recording Strictly Celebrity Bakeoff XII.  Jess has said that her brand of plain-spokenness is … Continue reading

April 29, 2019 · Leave a comment

Question Time audience still requires Equity card

Upon the discovery that the BBC has been padding out their audiences with paid actors, many theatrical agents are left wondering where their 10% is.  With pre-rehearsed lines, fake emotions … Continue reading

January 31, 2019 · 2 Comments

May plans to ‘get the band back together’

The Prime Minister has warned that to garner support for her Brexit plan, she will resume touring with her fusion of prog-rock and low corporation tax.  This will mean reforming … Continue reading

December 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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