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The Truth about Goats

May promises to stock food banks with fox meat


While Jeremy Corbyn has made an unwelcome pledge to solve irrelevant issues, such as Education, the NHS and World Peace.  Theresa May has had the courage to tackle the real … Continue reading

May 18, 2017 · Leave a comment

Sturgeon taken off sustainable list


Alongside North Sea haddock, opinions put forward by Nicola Sturgeon are no longer feasible and any promise sounds distinctly ‘fishy’.  Mrs. Sturgeon has been serving up ‘deep-fried codswallop’ for many … Continue reading

April 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

Free-range eggs lose their disability allowance


Downing Street has made it clear that millions of eggs will lose their disability status, unless they can prove that by ‘resembling a prolate spheroid’ they deserve priority parking.   While … Continue reading

March 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Children bravely tackle vegetable shortage


Fans of sugar and saturated fat, have been ‘strangely upbeat’ to learn that there is a national shortage of lettuce, broccoli and other ‘rabbit food’.  Children have been forced to … Continue reading

February 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

Disposable nappy inventor buried in landfill


Innovator Valerie Hunter-Gordon has died aged 94, with her final resting place being under 50,000 metric tonnes of biodegradable ‘baby poop’.  In a final act of irony, her body will … Continue reading

November 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Police warn IDS ‘on the loose’


‏ A national manhunt is underway for a man the security forces have described as a threat to livestock and the disabled.  Escaped from pro-EU captivity, Iain Duncan Smith (IDS) … Continue reading

March 29, 2016 · Leave a comment

Syria: ‘If we get flooded do we get to see the nice soldiers?’


Buoyed by the heart-warming images of rescue workers evacuating parts of Cumbria, Syrians are now looking forward to the inevitable armed incursions that will follow on from the humanitarian bombing. … Continue reading

January 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

World’s second-largest diamond found inside Theresa May’s anus


With the threat of terrorism and the Tory leadership slipping from her grasp – the rectal area of the Home Secretary is now the perfect geological location for the environmental … Continue reading

December 2, 2015 · 2 Comments

‘Sh@t’ still fails to make the list of new storms


While the British public in their infinite wisdom have selected inspirational weather monikers such as Nigel and Steve, more appropriate storm names are going unrequited. Unimaginative responses to the Met … Continue reading

November 5, 2015 · Leave a comment

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