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The Truth about Goats

Boris to extend ‘Stop & Search’ to include Grouse


While some have questioned why 550,000 acres of land are damaged every year by grouse-hunting, the new Prime Minister insisted that additional police powers are required to tackle our lawless … Continue reading

September 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

Hayfever can f$ck right off


A collection of distinguished academics have come to the conclusion that hayfever is a ‘whiny little bitch’, who can go ‘do one’. Years of painstaking research have revealed that allergic … Continue reading

August 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

Mark Field perfects Heimlich manoeuvre


Medical professionals have applauded MP Mark Field’s valiant man-handling of a Greenpeace protestor, using his best Sith-Lord throat-massage. The Foreign Office minister’s life-saving procedure, involved smashing the young woman against … Continue reading

June 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘Bird-nets’ secretly hiding hedge-hair


Netting said to be preventing birds from settling in trees, is in fact part of an elaborate scheme to grow replacement hair for those suffering from premature baldness. Miles of … Continue reading

May 1, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘F$ck May’ or ‘Save the Planet’ – can’t we do both?


Schoolchildren protesting against climate change, have presented the nation with an agonizing choice – battle climate change or vote the ‘Tories Out’. However, neutral observers have suggested that these choices … Continue reading

February 19, 2019 · Leave a comment

Money goes for early hibernation


With interest rates rising and sphincter’s tightening, the UK’s wealth has decided to retreat to the nearest nesting box or Swiss bank account.  Meanwhile, those currencies who can, have flown … Continue reading

October 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

A fifth of all Brexit ideas contain some form of Boris Johnson DNA


The Food Standards Agency (FSA) have reported that the vast majority of political offal has trace elements of the former Foreign Secretary and his ‘yellow pubes’.  Boris is the most … Continue reading

September 26, 2018 · Leave a comment

Heat overtakes Brexit as the conversation you don’t want to have


As wildfires continue to break out in Brexit negotiations, the British public have turned to the weather as their main source of verbal entropy. Reaching for the ‘Thesaurus of Boredom’, … Continue reading

August 6, 2018 · Leave a comment

Heathrow expansion to include Sudetenland


As MPs debate the merits of a ‘Third Runway and Reich’, many are worried about the environmental impact, the promise of ‘budget holidays in our time’ and the annexation of … Continue reading

July 4, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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