Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Leech claims to be a ‘blood creator’


Medical research normally endorses the careful removal of a parasite, but some leeches are of the opinion that if it was not for them, no blood would ever be produced. … Continue reading

November 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Environmentalist secretly wants the world to end so they can say ‘I told you so’


An unnamed member of the Extinction Rebellion has said she was torn between doing the right thing, with it’s fleeting satisfaction, as opposed to the sheer unbridled joy of being … Continue reading

October 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris promises ‘climate withdrawal’ – Clexit


In response to the country being narrowly split, 2% to 98% in favour of helping the environment, the Prime Minister has promised to take back control of our weather systems.  … Continue reading

October 23, 2019 · Leave a comment

Half as many plastic bags available for Brexit clean-up


Sadly sales of plastic bags in the UK have halved; which may be good news for turtles looking to lose weight but is bad news for those of us who … Continue reading

September 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris to extend ‘Stop & Search’ to include Grouse


While some have questioned why 550,000 acres of land are damaged every year by grouse-hunting, the new Prime Minister insisted that additional police powers are required to tackle our lawless … Continue reading

September 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

Hayfever can f$ck right off


A collection of distinguished academics have come to the conclusion that hayfever is a ‘whiny little bitch’, who can go ‘do one’. Years of painstaking research have revealed that allergic … Continue reading

August 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

Mark Field perfects Heimlich manoeuvre


Medical professionals have applauded MP Mark Field’s valiant man-handling of a Greenpeace protestor, using his best Sith-Lord throat-massage. The Foreign Office minister’s life-saving procedure, involved smashing the young woman against … Continue reading

June 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘Bird-nets’ secretly hiding hedge-hair


Netting said to be preventing birds from settling in trees, is in fact part of an elaborate scheme to grow replacement hair for those suffering from premature baldness. Miles of … Continue reading

May 1, 2019 · Leave a comment

‘F$ck May’ or ‘Save the Planet’ – can’t we do both?


Schoolchildren protesting against climate change, have presented the nation with an agonizing choice – battle climate change or vote the ‘Tories Out’. However, neutral observers have suggested that these choices … Continue reading

February 19, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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