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The Truth about Goats

Isle of Wight to ban penny-farthing from town centre

In an attempt to cut congestion, Ventnor council has decided to remove horse drawn carts, sedan chairs and speeding mobility scooters from the main thoroughfare.  Locals are said to have … Continue reading

April 28, 2020 · Leave a comment

Shadowy fence-panelling cartel behind Storm Ciara

Evidence has emerged that the havoc wrecked upon the UK’s gardens, by severe gales, may have been premeditated.  Rather than an example of climate change, Storm Ciara is thought to … Continue reading

February 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

QC promises to bludgeon to death all Brexiteers

Renowned Remain lawyer and killer of foxes, Jolyon Maugham, has set out an ambitious schedule of vermin and referendum ‘elimination’. Wearing his wife’s green kimono, he promised to use a … Continue reading

January 9, 2020 · Leave a comment

Leech claims to be a ‘blood creator’

Medical research normally endorses the careful removal of a parasite, but some leeches are of the opinion that if it was not for them, no blood would ever be produced. … Continue reading

November 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Environmentalist secretly wants the world to end so they can say ‘I told you so’

An unnamed member of the Extinction Rebellion has said she was torn between doing the right thing, with it’s fleeting satisfaction, as opposed to the sheer unbridled joy of being … Continue reading

October 24, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris promises ‘climate withdrawal’ – Clexit

In response to the country being narrowly split, 2% to 98% in favour of helping the environment, the Prime Minister has promised to take back control of our weather systems.  … Continue reading

October 23, 2019 · Leave a comment

Half as many plastic bags available for Brexit clean-up

Sadly sales of plastic bags in the UK have halved; which may be good news for turtles looking to lose weight but is bad news for those of us who … Continue reading

September 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris to extend ‘Stop & Search’ to include Grouse

While some have questioned why 550,000 acres of land are damaged every year by grouse-hunting, the new Prime Minister insisted that additional police powers are required to tackle our lawless … Continue reading

September 16, 2019 · Leave a comment

Hayfever can f$ck right off

A collection of distinguished academics have come to the conclusion that hayfever is a ‘whiny little bitch’, who can go ‘do one’. Years of painstaking research have revealed that allergic … Continue reading

August 7, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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