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The Truth about Goats

Call for extra tax to fund Richard Branson


A panel of health experts has determined that the entire budget of the NHS is insufficient to cover the urgent care of billionaires.  They propose a ring-fenced tax to support … Continue reading

February 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

Thomas Cook: ‘Reserve your melanoma’


For a £22 booking fee, UK holidaymakers will be able to reserve their cancer of choice, with a matching irregular and itchy sunbed.  This scheme will be trialled for 3 … Continue reading

February 1, 2018 · Leave a comment

Anyone without a bed can sleep on my couch, says Hunt


The Health Secretary has kindly offering to tackle the NHS over-crowding crisis by making use of his ‘emergency futon’.  Critics have suggested that he is out of touch, but Mr. … Continue reading

January 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

Proctologist finds Narnia


Dr. Richard Ahuja has stunned medical circles by discovering a fantasy land, even more implausible than an amicable Brexit.  Using a portal situated in an elderly patient’s rectum, Dr. Ahuja … Continue reading

January 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Surgeons could save time by not washing their hands


Up to two hours of surgery time could be saved per day by cutting out unnecessary luxuries, such as surgical scrubs, sharpened instruments and using an anaesthetic.  A study by … Continue reading

November 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Rural Doctors’ technically Vets


The Government is offering a £20,000 incentive bonus to any GP willing to tackle the medical problems of rural communities; including fleas, worms and no qualms about mating with blood … Continue reading

November 6, 2017 · 2 Comments

Women banned from menstruating with blue liquid


For decades, the pen industry has been using women as plentiful source of blue ink; with a typical ratio, of one menstruation to a thousand ballpoints.  Sadly ‘Bodyform’ sanitary towels … Continue reading

November 1, 2017 · Leave a comment

Scottish ‘baby in a box’ scheme to be served with ‘chippie sauce’


Scotland is set to serve ‘baby in a basket’ across a range of establishments, complete with a bed of chips, coleslaw and a touch of 70’s nostalgia. Baby boxes with … Continue reading

August 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter


Manufacturers have dismissed claims that confectionery favourites have shrunk, explaining that anything would look small in our ‘big fat, sausage fingers’.  The Office for National Statistics concluded that 2,500 products … Continue reading

August 16, 2017 · Leave a comment
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