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The Truth about Goats

May to give NHS ‘birthday present’ of HMV vouchers


Despite claiming to have found another £20bn for the NHS in left over change from the DUP, the Prime Minister has drawn up a gift list involving socks, scented candles … Continue reading

July 2, 2018 · Leave a comment

National Trust to take over the NHS


With a projected shortfall of £50bn by 2030, Theresa May has taken the decision to designate the NHS as a ‘grade-2 listed’ institution, in need of some ‘significant crowd-funding’.  As … Continue reading

June 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

One in 25 children ‘too fat to go in goal’


Severe obesity is leading to a national shortage of suitable kids to pick last for activities, meaning other minority groups have moved down the pecking order; including children with squints, … Continue reading

June 12, 2018 · 1 Comment

Man convinced he can mend anything with gaffer tape


Despite never having had any formal medical training, Paul Nowakowski (36) is fairly sure that an amputated thumb can be reattached with a combination of gaffer tape and wood glue. … Continue reading

May 24, 2018 · 2 Comments

Surgery patients advised to visit local butcher


Having encouraged sick children to be treated by pharmacists, NHS England has decided to outsource health care to the high street, combining The Body Shop with Hobbycraft.  Butchers will now … Continue reading

February 22, 2018 · 2 Comments

Call for extra tax to fund Richard Branson


A panel of health experts has determined that the entire budget of the NHS is insufficient to cover the urgent care of billionaires.  They propose a ring-fenced tax to support … Continue reading

February 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

Thomas Cook: ‘Reserve your melanoma’


For a £22 booking fee, UK holidaymakers will be able to reserve their cancer of choice, with a matching irregular and itchy sunbed.  This scheme will be trialled for 3 … Continue reading

February 1, 2018 · Leave a comment

Anyone without a bed can sleep on my couch, says Hunt


The Health Secretary has kindly offering to tackle the NHS over-crowding crisis by making use of his ‘emergency futon’.  Critics have suggested that he is out of touch, but Mr. … Continue reading

January 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

Proctologist finds Narnia


Dr. Richard Ahuja has stunned medical circles by discovering a fantasy land, even more implausible than an amicable Brexit.  Using a portal situated in an elderly patient’s rectum, Dr. Ahuja … Continue reading

January 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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