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1 in 10 hospitals doing ‘just fine’

Jeremy Hunt was celebrating new data that suggests that as many as 15 out of 152 hospital trusts are meeting minimum over-crowding targets.  This staggering success matches other key reductions … Continue reading

March 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hunt demands Dr Who replaced with Dr Whenever

Peter Capaldi has resigned as a locum Timelord, buckling under the pressure of delivering a 24/7 NHS alongside defeating Daleks.  For Mr Capaldi the tipping point came when he was … Continue reading

February 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Theresa May to tackle ‘burning injustices’ with cranberry juice

The Prime Minister has promised wide-ranging social reforms to tackle yeast infections. As David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ had helped tax havens get bigger, so will Theresa May’s ‘shared society’ increase … Continue reading

January 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Demand for Junior Doctors, a stereotype says Jewish Mother

The Health Secretary’s plans to increase the number of medical school places has been seen as an attempt to perpetuate a Jewish caricature, that there is a shortage of good … Continue reading

November 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

10 minute consultations ‘a real drag’

The British Medical Association (BMA) has criticised the Health Secretary’s truncated care as an ‘interminable bore’, which becomes no more than a longwinded chat, punctuated with small-talk and embarrassing rashes.  … Continue reading

September 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

UK offers free porn warnings 100% – guaranteed!

Eighty percent of sexually-frustrated men attest to being addicted to cautions about porn.  While easy access to online titillation has led to a steep rise in the seedy world of … Continue reading

August 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Doctors opt for placebo strike

Having exhausted all conventional medicines in repairing the NHS, junior doctors have decided to embark upon another meaningless industrial action to solve the nation’s ills.  Despite resorting to a fake … Continue reading

April 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

£3,000 ‘birth budgets’ could fund spa weekend

The NHS in England may soon regret allowing pregnant women to allocate their own healthcare allowance; with many predicting a rise in ‘subsidized trips to Selfridges’.  Indeed, some women have … Continue reading

March 14, 2016 · Leave a comment

Scotland flooded to lower alcohol limits

Ministers have taken the bold move to release flood waters throughout northern parts of the UK to water down the intoxication of ‘the natives’.   At an average 46% proof, experts … Continue reading

February 2, 2016 · 1 Comment

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