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New £20 note to replace toilet paper

Panic buyers have given up stockpiling toilet paper and have gone for the next cheapest equivalent – the UK currency. The holographic £20 has become the perineal cleaner of choice, … Continue reading

March 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

House of Lords to be reformed by Coronavirus

The virus, which targets the elderly and infirmed, is said to have big plans for the House of Lords – replacing hereditary nobles with hereditary illnesses. The only defense against … Continue reading

March 24, 2020 · Leave a comment

Sex position of the week: The reverse cow-herd immunity

Boris Johnson has decided to spice up his COBRA meetings, with a variety of emergency positions, designed to makes us all ‘sweat’.  He has thrown out the Kama Sutra and … Continue reading

March 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

UK volunteers to be placebo control group

While the rest of the world closes airports, schools and branches of Woolworths, Britain has decided to go it alone with the Coronavirus. Instead of avoidance, the UK has an … Continue reading

March 17, 2020 · Leave a comment

‘Feeling a bit funny’ – now a medical term

Health officials have agreed to reclassify a vague queasiness as a verifiable condition, as serious as stage 4 cancer, the bubonic plague or time spent with Michael Gove.  It is … Continue reading

March 12, 2020 · Leave a comment

Retired Doctors to be frontline vs Coronavirus, because ‘they’ll die first’

  The Health Department has hit upon the novel idea of putting those with weakest immune systems at greatest exposure to Covid-19; thus cutting in half doctor’s pensions. The scheme … Continue reading

March 5, 2020 · Leave a comment

NHS ‘coronavirus pod’ is the new name for ‘corridor’

With no additional capacity, hospitals have been forced to improvise with their use of space; converting carparks into wards, skips into surgeries and toilets into ‘executive office space, with unlimited … Continue reading

February 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

Facemasks? Either its Coronavirus or we suddenly have a lot of dentists

The UK is braced for an outbreak of a scary virus or the possibility that everyone wants to look like a dental hygienist.  To add to the confusion, there is … Continue reading

February 5, 2020 · Leave a comment

Trump arrives to take-over the NHS a week too soon

Due to a scheduling error and Donald Trump getting confused with his advent calendar, the President failed to launch the first striptease/carvery outlet of ‘McNHS’.  Mr. Trump had excitedly booked … Continue reading

December 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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