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Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter


Manufacturers have dismissed claims that confectionery favourites have shrunk, explaining that anything would look small in our ‘big fat, sausage fingers’.  The Office for National Statistics concluded that 2,500 products … Continue reading

August 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Office worker still thinks manual labour ‘looks relaxing’


Gazing at workmen assembling scaffolding outside his office window, Joshua Millingsworth (29) told all within earshot, that working class people ‘don’t have a care in the world’.  Based on years … Continue reading

August 14, 2017 · 2 Comments

New female Dr Who technically a nurse


Fans are still decide on the merits of Jodie Whittaker as the new Time Lord/Lady, but many question the medical legitimacy of someone who has to pee sitting down. ‘As … Continue reading

August 1, 2017 · Leave a comment

Nation admits ‘Mindfulness’ is a ‘crock of sh$t’


While experts acknowledge that the UK has the emotional resilience of blancmange, many now agree that ‘mindfulness’ is just a scam to sell books, josticks and to fill up Spa … Continue reading

July 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Flood of immigrant nurses finally halted


In the face of much recent criticism, Theresa May was finally able to point to her success in stopping the threat of qualified health professionals from getting out of hand.  … Continue reading

June 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

1 in 10 hospitals doing ‘just fine’


Jeremy Hunt was celebrating new data that suggests that as many as 15 out of 152 hospital trusts are meeting minimum over-crowding targets.  This staggering success matches other key reductions … Continue reading

March 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hunt demands Dr Who replaced with Dr Whenever


Peter Capaldi has resigned as a locum Timelord, buckling under the pressure of delivering a 24/7 NHS alongside defeating Daleks.  For Mr Capaldi the tipping point came when he was … Continue reading

February 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Theresa May to tackle ‘burning injustices’ with cranberry juice


The Prime Minister has promised wide-ranging social reforms to tackle yeast infections. As David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ had helped tax havens get bigger, so will Theresa May’s ‘shared society’ increase … Continue reading

January 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Demand for Junior Doctors, a stereotype says Jewish Mother


The Health Secretary’s plans to increase the number of medical school places has been seen as an attempt to perpetuate a Jewish caricature, that there is a shortage of good … Continue reading

November 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

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