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Labour offers M&S food delivery


In what, is seen, as a deliberate attempt to pander to aspiring voters, Jeremy Corbyn has promised home delivery of all their favourite middle-class treats; such as artisanal breads, free-range … Continue reading

May 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Birthday boy just happy to ‘hit stuff’


Parents, Jacob and Zara, were disappointed to discover that their three-year old son was more elated with a cardboard box rather than the artisan gifts it contained – ignoring his … Continue reading

April 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

Nation celebrates ‘Motherf$ckers day’


Ranging from Chuck Norris and ending with Oedipus many of us are ‘tough mother$ckers’, while others love their Mum just a bit too much. Whatever your predilection, this Sunday remembers … Continue reading

March 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘City of Culture’ mainly ironic


Eleven cities are bidding to become 2021’s pub quiz answer that must be followed by the statement ‘Really? That sh$t-hole?’.  For many of the applicants, their only experience of growing … Continue reading

March 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Stubborn stain’ just principled


A particularly tenacious furniture stain has refused to change in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence – sticking to the belief that prisons work, global warming is a myth and … Continue reading

March 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Confused man not sure if Katie Price is ‘for or against’ abuse


Speaking on ITV’s ‘Loose Women’, the glamour model seemed to suggest that her choice of profession was heavily influenced by an abusive past and not the result of one ‘really … Continue reading

March 2, 2017 · Leave a comment

Employment rights for men contemplating sex


Hot on the heels of new legislation to protect expectant mothers, men are also demanding job protection whenever they plan to impregnate someone.  Statistics suggest as much 72% of all … Continue reading

February 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Lost phone panic now entering its third minute


Hope is starting to fade, as the search for the mobile belonging to Elly Woodcock (15) has reached the 197th second or the ‘point of no return’ according to her … Continue reading

February 9, 2017 · Leave a comment

Zuzu’s petals found on EBay


With Christmas barely started, unwanted gifts have already flooded EBay; including EU membership, £1000 leather trousers and a Southern Rail franchise.  Worse still, Zuzu Bailey has discovered her father has … Continue reading

January 9, 2017 · Leave a comment

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