Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Man instantly regrets not looking in his handkerchief

Tobias Kowalewski (37) has become riddled with self-doubt and curiosity, since he pointedly refused to examine the contents of his handkerchief, after one particularly aggressive evacuation.  Not only was he … Continue reading

March 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

People who go for walks aren’t working hard enough during the week

Sociologists have discovered what many had long suspected, that those whose weekends are packed with strenuous activity, are blatantly ‘slacking-off’ at work.  Chief amongst these, are ramblers – who are … Continue reading

February 27, 2018 · 2 Comments

No one has ever used the word ‘Youthquake’

Despite claims by the Oxford Dictionary that ‘Youthquake’ is a word, most teenagers agree that it is only a phrase to use, if you want to get ridiculed on social … Continue reading

January 3, 2018 · Leave a comment

DUP demands ‘dado rail’ rather than soft border

The EU negotiations have been thrown into turmoil by the Democratic Unionist Party insisting on the same coving and ‘wall accoutrements’ as other UK properties.  Theresa May had hoped to … Continue reading

December 11, 2017 · Leave a comment

All parents must pause ‘mid-bollocking’ to post to Instagram

Laws are being introduced to ensure that all graphic moments of domestic or parental chaos are uploaded; to allow for amusing comments, memes and in order to speed up access … Continue reading

October 26, 2017 · Leave a comment

Amal Clooney admits to being clickbait for dyslexics

Despite being a distinguished human rights lawyer Mrs Clooney has expressed frustration at the online attention she has received, since her marriage, from those looking for ‘backdoor action’ involving her … Continue reading

October 16, 2017 · 2 Comments

Old western men looking for love in your local area

Asian websites have reported being flooded by pop-ups offering ‘no-strings attached’ casual sex from middle-aged singletons based in the Winchester area.  Erotically posed in figure-hugging cardigans, these provocative images of … Continue reading

October 5, 2017 · 4 Comments

Cat owner now feels qualified for parenthood

It is a well-known medical fact that prior to conception, couples can measure their potential success by caring for a pet that shares the same characteristics of a baby; such … Continue reading

October 2, 2017 · Leave a comment

Brexit Battle Bus loses its licence to operate

Transport for London (TfL) have taken the surprising measure to ban the Vote Leave Bus from picking up drunk and confused voters on the streets of the capital. Alongside Uber, … Continue reading

September 26, 2017 · 1 Comment

Reformation (play script)


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