Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

No singing at weddings? Thank f$ck!

Out of the chaos of their Covid-19 strategy, the Government has finally hit upon a regulation that everyone can support – an end to your drunk Uncle singing ‘My Way’ … Continue reading

July 3, 2020 · Leave a comment

Ketchup works for everything – except sex play

Britain’s favourite red gravy can be smeared on any meal with no ill effects, but the moment it is introduced into bedtime frolics, it not only kills the moment, but … Continue reading

July 1, 2020 · Leave a comment

Zoos reopen – Lions excited about 2 metre distancing

Boris Johnson has announced that safari parks will open on June 15th and insisted that a two-metre exclusion zone from a rhino, is just enough to give you a head … Continue reading

June 18, 2020 · Leave a comment

No one is cleaning my moat, complains MP

Journalists and politicians alike have begun to suffer under draconian lockdown, due to shortage of au pairs, skiing instructors and a general lack of grouse beaters. Forced to wipe their … Continue reading

June 2, 2020 · Leave a comment

NHS need Burberry gowns but can’t afford £1000 matching bag

The desperately short supply of personal protective equipment (PPE) has forced the NHS to outsource to Burberry and Barbour – while deliberately ignoring ASDA’s less fashionable ‘George’ line. An average … Continue reading

April 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Husband threatens to grow ‘mother of all beards’ – so does wife

  In an act of hairy brinkmanship, one couple from Luton (Ben & Sally) are treating lockdown as a challenge to see how far they can let their personal grooming … Continue reading

April 7, 2020 · Leave a comment

Teenager emerges from bedroom after 3 weeks to say: ‘What virus?’

  Although the UK is under lockdown, events are yet to disturb the sleep/gaming pattern of one hibernating teenager. In fact very few British youngsters are aware of the Coronavirus … Continue reading

March 30, 2020 · Leave a comment

Maybe if you were more interesting people wouldn’t interrupt

Social scientists have revealed that 80% of all conversational interruptions are not due to some elaborate power-play, but are caused by the speaker being mind-numbingly tedious.  Repetition, lack of coherent … Continue reading

March 3, 2020 · Leave a comment

Most couples opt for an ‘uncivil’ partnership

Despite thousands of heterosexual couples in England and Wales entering into civil partnerships, a far greater number will be moving to a state of awkward silence and passive aggressive comments … Continue reading

February 25, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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