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Electorate displaying signs of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’


Despite years of abuse, most voters look set to ask Theresa May for five more years of bondage and tax avoidance – making the Tory manifesto feel more like ‘Fifty … Continue reading

June 12, 2017 · Leave a comment

May: ‘The first rule of debate club is no one attends debate club’


While the electorate may have wondered where the Prime Minister was hiding, those ‘in the know’ were watching her last night in an underground car-park, bare-knuckle boxing with Brad Pitt-lookalike, … Continue reading

June 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

Guests ‘singularly unimpressed’ by toast rack


Despite offering the ‘red carpet treatment’ to visiting friends, Aisha and Matt Symonds have been given a less than glowing review for offering their guests special cutlery, parking privileges and … Continue reading

May 31, 2017 · Leave a comment

Labour offers M&S food delivery


In what, is seen, as a deliberate attempt to pander to aspiring voters, Jeremy Corbyn has promised home delivery of all their favourite middle-class treats; such as artisanal breads, free-range … Continue reading

May 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Birthday boy just happy to ‘hit stuff’


Parents, Jacob and Zara, were disappointed to discover that their three-year old son was more elated with a cardboard box rather than the artisan gifts it contained – ignoring his … Continue reading

April 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

Nation celebrates ‘Motherf$ckers day’


Ranging from Chuck Norris and ending with Oedipus many of us are ‘tough mother$ckers’, while others love their Mum just a bit too much. Whatever your predilection, this Sunday remembers … Continue reading

March 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘City of Culture’ mainly ironic


Eleven cities are bidding to become 2021’s pub quiz answer that must be followed by the statement ‘Really? That sh$t-hole?’.  For many of the applicants, their only experience of growing … Continue reading

March 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Stubborn stain’ just principled


A particularly tenacious furniture stain has refused to change in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence – sticking to the belief that prisons work, global warming is a myth and … Continue reading

March 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Confused man not sure if Katie Price is ‘for or against’ abuse


Speaking on ITV’s ‘Loose Women’, the glamour model seemed to suggest that her choice of profession was heavily influenced by an abusive past and not the result of one ‘really … Continue reading

March 2, 2017 · Leave a comment

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