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Amal Clooney admits to being clickbait for dyslexics


Despite being a distinguished human rights lawyer Mrs Clooney has expressed frustration at the online attention she has received, since her marriage, from those looking for ‘backdoor action’ involving her … Continue reading

October 16, 2017 · 2 Comments

Old western men looking for love in your local area


Asian websites have reported being flooded by pop-ups offering ‘no-strings attached’ casual sex from middle-aged singletons based in the Winchester area.  Erotically posed in figure-hugging cardigans, these provocative images of … Continue reading

October 5, 2017 · 4 Comments

Cat owner now feels qualified for parenthood


It is a well-known medical fact that prior to conception, couples can measure their potential success by caring for a pet that shares the same characteristics of a baby; such … Continue reading

October 2, 2017 · Leave a comment

Brexit Battle Bus loses its licence to operate


Transport for London (TfL) have taken the surprising measure to ban the Vote Leave Bus from picking up drunk and confused voters on the streets of the capital. Alongside Uber, … Continue reading

September 26, 2017 · 1 Comment

Student describes Pesto as ‘transformative’


Martin Cabrera, 20, has declared himself the ‘new Jamie Oliver’, having found out that Pesto is more than just a mysterious jar hidden behind some out-of-date kidney beans.  Martin further … Continue reading

August 17, 2017 · 2 Comments

National Trust celebrates ‘Heterosexual Shame Weekend’


With some volunteers uncomfortable supporting LGBTQ rights, The National Trust has decided instead to memorialize smutty beachside postcards, grey socks and unimaginative sexual positions.  The ‘Heterosexual Shame Weekend’ will see … Continue reading

August 8, 2017 · Leave a comment

Self-esteem is just one publishing deal away, says lifestyle expert


Bloggers throughout the land have been delighted to discover that the root to all happiness is not resolving dietary and fashion dilemmas, but is in fact linked to ‘large globules … Continue reading

July 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hammond: ‘Public servants are oversexed, overpaid and over here’


While plucky Brexit Ministers are fighting for our freedom on the Continent, many public workers stationed in Britain are flaunting their wealth.  Firefighters line the streets offering nylons and cigarettes … Continue reading

July 18, 2017 · Leave a comment

Unexploded baby discovered at wedding


Despite a clear warning on the invitation – ‘no children’ – extremist relatives have chosen to unleash a full-throated baby on an innocent wedding ceremony; upsetting at least one innocent … Continue reading

July 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

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