Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Seagulls on ‘smack’


Heroin and chips have become the meal of choice for coastal communities and thieving seagulls.  So addicted to ‘H’ have the birds become, that many will bombard innocent beach-goers enjoying … Continue reading

June 5, 2018 · 2 Comments

Wetherspoon bans reading


Following their decision to withdraw from social media, the pub chain has signalled its intention to roll back on the industrial age, medieval agrarian reform and ‘washing in winter’.  A … Continue reading

May 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

‘Shit-shaming’ map accidentally spots Theresa May


‘Doodoowatch’, an interactive website that locates unwanted dog excrement, has inadvertently become targeting software for members of the cabinet.  Security services have become concerned that the Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, … Continue reading

April 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Over-enthusiastic ‘dab’ goes all Nazi


Party-goers were thrown into turmoil when Paul Azikiwe, 29, attempted an overly ambitious hand-gesture which degenerated in a celebration of fascism, faster than a Daily Mail editorial.  Subsequently, this has … Continue reading

April 17, 2018 · Leave a comment

Windsor ‘beggar ban’ targets Princess Michael of Kent


Tory councillors have demanded a crackdown on aggressive freeloaders invited to the Royal Wedding.  However, police fear that once they have arrested all the beggars and meth users there will … Continue reading

January 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

Best Man’s speech enters second day


Emergency services have been called to a local wedding, where guests report suffering from dehydration, boredom and a nagging sense of déjà vu – while the Best Man lurches into … Continue reading

December 7, 2017 · Leave a comment

New TV ‘finally’ big enough, says Man


With ‘Black Friday’ a distant memory and a future cause for insolvency, Mr. Hassan Bukhari (42) has unveiled the latest addition to his family – a splendiferous, 70 inch wide-screen … Continue reading

December 6, 2017 · Leave a comment

Kensington Tories rate the Titanic disaster a ‘B minus’


Having asked residents to tastefully score the Grenfell Tower tragedy ‘out of ten’, town councillors have proposed to rate Harold Shipman on Check-a-Trade and the Holocaust on Trip Advisor.  Undeterred … Continue reading

November 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘One-way ticket for homeless’ – just Southern Rail’s usual service


A number of councils in England are regularly buying ‘rough sleepers’ one-way train tickets, or ‘return tickets’ as Southern call them.  The controversial policy of putting homeless on trains, has … Continue reading

October 31, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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