Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Helen Mirren under fire for suspending Parliament.


The distinguished screen actress and part-time monarch, has had her home besieged by bewildered muggles, claiming that she should never have let Boris Johnson have his wicked way with the … Continue reading

September 2, 2019 · Leave a comment

Shit creek contractor has never ‘actually’ used paddle before


In the event of a no-deal Brexit – or karma as it is known – the British government has entrusted part of their ferry service to a firm without any … Continue reading

January 10, 2019 · Leave a comment

Can of Spam refuses photo with Minister


As a glut of Tory MPs indulge in Food Bank selfies, many have questioned the efficacy of posing next to a bag of spinach, while those you have forced into … Continue reading

December 19, 2018 · Leave a comment

Seagulls on ‘smack’


Heroin and chips have become the meal of choice for coastal communities and thieving seagulls.  So addicted to ‘H’ have the birds become, that many will bombard innocent beach-goers enjoying … Continue reading

June 5, 2018 · 2 Comments

Wetherspoon bans reading


Following their decision to withdraw from social media, the pub chain has signalled its intention to roll back on the industrial age, medieval agrarian reform and ‘washing in winter’.  A … Continue reading

May 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

‘Shit-shaming’ map accidentally spots Theresa May


‘Doodoowatch’, an interactive website that locates unwanted dog excrement, has inadvertently become targeting software for members of the cabinet.  Security services have become concerned that the Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, … Continue reading

April 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Over-enthusiastic ‘dab’ goes all Nazi


Party-goers were thrown into turmoil when Paul Azikiwe, 29, attempted an overly ambitious hand-gesture which degenerated in a celebration of fascism, faster than a Daily Mail editorial.  Subsequently, this has … Continue reading

April 17, 2018 · Leave a comment

Windsor ‘beggar ban’ targets Princess Michael of Kent


Tory councillors have demanded a crackdown on aggressive freeloaders invited to the Royal Wedding.  However, police fear that once they have arrested all the beggars and meth users there will … Continue reading

January 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

Best Man’s speech enters second day


Emergency services have been called to a local wedding, where guests report suffering from dehydration, boredom and a nagging sense of déjà vu – while the Best Man lurches into … Continue reading

December 7, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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