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Davis tells EU: ‘Hang on a minute, lads. I’ve got a great idea’


Despite assurances of a straight forward ‘smash and grab’, the UK’s Brexit team have found themselves teetering over the edge of political precipice, watching as EU assets slip towards the … Continue reading

June 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

Boris tackles inferno with Garden Bridge


As tragedy unfolded in West London, those affected would have been comforted to know that the previous Mayor of London had sensibly spent £46m on an unfinished allotment – that … Continue reading

June 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Don’t worry, I got this covered’ says May


Surrounded by canned goods, Theresa May sent out a reassuring message to the British public, deep from within the bowels of No.10’s bespoke nuclear bunker.  Strapping on a bullet-proof vest, … Continue reading

June 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Grieving families helped by smug Tweet


While Manchester attempts to recover from a terrorist atrocity, many on social media helpfully took the time to explain how pleased they were to be proven ‘right’.  Fortunately we have … Continue reading

May 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

The Sun no longer measured in Kelvin


As all physicists and Liverpudlians agree, ‘The Sun’ newspaper is a fiery ball of hate, at the centre of the Murdoch Universe.  However star-gazers and star-hackers are concerned that increases … Continue reading

May 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

May triggers Article 51 by accident


With a trigger finger as itchy as Lee Harvey Oswald covered in ants, Theresa May has inadvertently signed the wrong sub-clause of the EU convention.  Article 51, as complicated as … Continue reading

March 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

Fictional funding at an ‘all time’ high


In the face of further cuts to the public sector, the Government was keen to announce that ‘fairy-tale budgets’ were increasing, with services set to be funded by magic beans … Continue reading

March 9, 2017 · Leave a comment

May orders Queen to give Trump a lap-dance


Rolling out the red carpet and the nipple tassels, the UK’s Prime Minister has insisted that Donald Trump will receive a state visit and ‘a massage, with extras’.  To this … Continue reading

February 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

New ‘Garden Villages’ really allotments


The Government has unveiled its intention to build up to 10,000 new homes next to cabbage patches and curmudgeonly old men, smoking a pipe.  Instead of 14 new villages, the … Continue reading

January 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

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