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The Truth about Goats

Hoses to blame for Grenfell. Flammable material exonerated


In a surprise twist, the inquiry into the Grenfell fire has discovered that firefighters caused the tragedy, not the cladding made from cardboard and kerosene.   By naively using water to … Continue reading

July 9, 2018 · Leave a comment

Royal Reporter fails to say ‘black culture’ without sounding like a condescending racist


While many have applauded the diversity and talent on display at Harry & Meghan’s wedding, journalists have struggled to find a plaudit that goes beyond ‘what a surprise’ or ‘nice … Continue reading

May 22, 2018 · Leave a comment

Kate Middleton’s uterus to house News International


Rupert Murdoch’s publishing works have decided to relocate to the Royal Womb in an attempt to cut down commuter costs and the need for a telescopic lens. By taking residency … Continue reading

April 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Shock as Xmas lights found tangled


For merely the tenth year in a row, the McClusky household has been thrown into turmoil upon the disquieting discovery that someone failed to put the Christmas lights away tidily.  … Continue reading

December 14, 2017 · Leave a comment

Hopkins splits from Mail due to ‘artistic differences’


Broadcaster and professional bear-baiter, Katie Hopkins has left the MailOnline in order to spend more time with her family of winged monkeys and her nagging sense of self-loathing.  Her agent … Continue reading

November 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Scotland to pay for Scots to stay


Having agreed to help fund an EU settlers’ fee, the Scottish Government is looking for ways to stop their own citizens from tunnelling under Hadrian’s Wall in an attempt to … Continue reading

October 12, 2017 · Leave a comment

Penicillin clears up Fox News


Despite being a weeping sore on the arse of Sky broadcasting, a prolonged exposure to antibiotics and low viewing figures has finally cured British TV of Rupert Murdoch’s most persistent … Continue reading

September 5, 2017 · 4 Comments

Davis tells EU: ‘Hang on a minute, lads. I’ve got a great idea’


Despite assurances of a straight forward ‘smash and grab’, the UK’s Brexit team have found themselves teetering over the edge of political precipice, watching as EU assets slip towards the … Continue reading

June 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

Boris tackles inferno with Garden Bridge


As tragedy unfolded in West London, those affected would have been comforted to know that the previous Mayor of London had sensibly spent £46m on an unfinished allotment – that … Continue reading

June 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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