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The Truth about Goats

Tories withdraw whip from Duke of Wellington

Having taken the extraordinary steps to expel Winston Churchill’s grandson from the parliamentary party, Boris Johnson insisted he would clear out other Tory grandees; such Jeremy Clarkson, Leopold II of … Continue reading

September 9, 2019 · Leave a comment

Boris asks Parliament to ‘suspend disbelief’

Boris Johnson will instruct the nation to suspend its critical faculties for the duration of his time as Prime Minister. He will formally ask the Queen to accept the surreal … Continue reading

September 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Lib Dems mistake ‘work- shadowing’ for shadow cabinet

Putting aside a few minor details, like no votes or MPs, Jo Swinson has made the audacious move of nominating a Shadow Cabinet – which came as a surprise to … Continue reading

September 4, 2019 · Leave a comment

Jo Swinson yet to rule out pact with Sauron

Having dismissed electoral or coalition agreements with the SNP and Labour, the Liberal Democrats were still keen to leave the door open to Dracula and Pennywise the Dancing Clown (or … Continue reading

August 27, 2019 · Leave a comment

Ant & Dec to head Government of National Unity

Centrists throughout Waitrose have agreed that the UK would be best served by skipping over the democracy part and returning to 2002. To facilitate the process, a hand picked team … Continue reading

August 26, 2019 · Leave a comment

YouGov owe the bookies £10m

The notorious soothsayers and purveyors of Brexit dreams, have made a fatal error of betting on their predictions. YouGov now owe ‘Dave the Bookie’ a vast sum, after a failed … Continue reading

August 22, 2019 · 4 Comments

Jo Swinson demands ‘more comfortable’ diamond shoes

Having spent three years insisting on a referendum and no Hard Brexit, now that she has been offered them, the Lib Dem leader has decided that this gift-wrapped present needs … Continue reading

August 20, 2019 · Leave a comment

Caroline Lucas bases her dream cabinet on one ‘girly night out’

The UK’s one Green MP has called for an emergency cabinet based on a list of ‘all the women I know’. Sadly for Caroline Lucas, her all female cabinet fails … Continue reading

August 19, 2019 · Leave a comment

Having two votes in an election is the most Tory thing you can do

Thousands of activists have been issued with more than one ballot for the Conservative election – allowing them to have twice as many reasons not to support either candidate.  Those … Continue reading

July 18, 2019 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)


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