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You’re not multitasking, you’re just not concentrating


Scientists have finally called bullsh$t on the phrase ‘multi-task’; which has become an umbrella term for ‘not finishing’ the job in hand. Instead, prevaricators now use the phrase to cover … Continue reading

September 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

Rudd solves “inter-web-thingy”


The Home Secretary has instructed Silicon Valley to guard against the threat of Calcalator watches, the Siemens S25 and other forms of witchery. Warning of the dangers of terrorists on … Continue reading

August 7, 2017 · 2 Comments

Blue Peter to bury Tim Peake in his capsule.


The UK has purchased the rights to bury Tim Peake’s mummified remains in the Blue Peter garden.  Using his space capsule as futuristic coffin, Mr. Peake will be entombed with … Continue reading

December 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

Many dogs still running on Windows Vista


More than 4,700 stray dogs failed to be reunited with their owners due to outdated microchips or using outmoded operating systems.  Around 3,463 stray dogs were destroyed for not being … Continue reading

October 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

Scientists discover what all TV input/outputs mean


It’s up there with the riddle of the Sphinx and James Corden’s career, but scientists have uncovered the mystery behind all the ‘hole thingies’ on the back on your wide-curved-plasma-HDR-LED-HGV-RSVP-boil … Continue reading

September 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Pokéy Grindr sweeps the nation


Hot on the heels of the augmented realty success Pokémon GO, a new dating-app is allowing amorous singletons to locate the whereabouts of horny anime characters. Described a ‘geosocial f@ckfest’, … Continue reading

July 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

Tim Peake is worse than Jar Jar Binks


Ardent Star Wars fans have declared themselves disappointed with the latest edition to the George Lucas franchise; with none predicting that it would be a bland film about a UK … Continue reading

January 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Alien megastructure maybe Heathrow’s third runway


In an attempt to increase aviation capacity while avoiding flightpaths near Tory homeowners, the UK Government has constructed an extra runway orbiting the star known as KIC 8462852. So voracious … Continue reading

November 9, 2015 · 2 Comments

Labour set to unveil the iCorbyn™


To the delight of technology fans and beard-wearers, the Labour Party is planning to launch a new device which will revolutionize the way we think of revolutions.  This simple handle-held … Continue reading

September 16, 2015 · 2 Comments

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