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The Truth about Goats

Scientists now fear that the Union Jack may become sentient

Evidence is mounting that the UK’s national flag is starting to exhibit human emotions, such as rage, more rage, and an unhealthy desire for warm beer. The Union Jack itself … Continue reading

March 31, 2021 · Leave a comment

Maybot fails Turing test

Sadly when given the opportunity to accept a workable Brexit, Theresa May has failed to replicate basic human functions; such as empathy, comprehension and the ability to run through a … Continue reading

April 3, 2019 · Leave a comment

Maybot ‘not covered’ by Right of Repair

Consumer groups are frustrated that a malfunctioning Prime Minister cannot be cheaply repaired and will ultimately end up as landfill – or in the ‘House of Lords’ as it is … Continue reading

February 5, 2019 · Leave a comment

Syphilitic remains found in Foreign Office may be Boris

Scientists believe to have discovered the mummified, nannified and pickled remains of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson – the last curse of the pharaohs and the Presidents’ Club.  This has … Continue reading

January 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Saying ‘forward slash’ does sound stupid

Scientists have confirmed that reading out a hyperlink makes you sound like a cross between a malfunctioning TomTom and a Wil.i.am lyric sheet.  Rather than appear technically minded, uttering the … Continue reading

October 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

You’re not multitasking, you’re just not concentrating

Scientists have finally called bullsh$t on the phrase ‘multi-task’; which has become an umbrella term for ‘not finishing’ the job in hand. Instead, prevaricators now use the phrase to cover … Continue reading

September 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

Rudd solves “inter-web-thingy”

The Home Secretary has instructed Silicon Valley to guard against the threat of Calcalator watches, the Siemens S25 and other forms of witchery. Warning of the dangers of terrorists on … Continue reading

August 7, 2017 · 2 Comments

Blue Peter to bury Tim Peake in his capsule.

The UK has purchased the rights to bury Tim Peake’s mummified remains in the Blue Peter garden.  Using his space capsule as futuristic coffin, Mr. Peake will be entombed with … Continue reading

December 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

Many dogs still running on Windows Vista

More than 4,700 stray dogs failed to be reunited with their owners due to outdated microchips or using outmoded operating systems.  Around 3,463 stray dogs were destroyed for not being … Continue reading

October 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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