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The Truth about Goats

Far-right thugs start the football season early

The Football Association has been forced to explain that the crowd violence seen in Trafalgar Square, was not Millwall FC celebrating a goal. Remarked one hooligan: ‘Getting pissed, hurling bottles, … Continue reading

June 15, 2020 · Leave a comment

Keir Starmer yet to get a football stadium chant

As Jeremy Corbyn bids a fond farewell to the leadership of the Labour Party and big hello to his prize marrows, the new Leader is struggling with his new found … Continue reading

April 21, 2020 · Leave a comment

Chancellor declares ‘The only wealthy people are footballers’

Rishi Sunak – Goldman Sachs’ investment banker, hedge fund manager and husband of a billionaire’s daughter – has decided Accrington Stanley’s third choice goalkeeper should foot the bill for the … Continue reading

April 16, 2020 · Leave a comment

Assistant Referee still self-identifies as a ‘Linesman’

UEFA have come under fire for discriminating against ‘linespeople’ and their right to just focus on throw-ins and corners.  Since 1996, Graham Pollock (47) has had to live the lie … Continue reading

March 26, 2020 · Leave a comment

We can solve Brexit because we’re good at sports

  After a weekend of sporting success and too much alcohol, UK voters are now convinced that everything will be fine – mainly because we can catch.  Off the back … Continue reading

July 17, 2019 · Leave a comment

Spurs & Liverpool both plan to be 4-0 down by half-time

Both Champion’s League finalists have revealed that their tactic for success will be to establish themselves as the biggest underdog since the Karate Kid took up MMA. Plans include playing … Continue reading

May 13, 2019 · Leave a comment

Harry the Hornet resigns over something…probably anti-Semitism

The Labour Party has found itself mired in further controversy as the Watford mascot resigned, amid accusations that he might have done something to offend Margaret Hodge.  For some ‘Harry’ … Continue reading

September 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Man Utd board back Liam Fox

Despite a disastrous start to Brexit negotiations, Man Utd directors have said that Dr. Fox has their full support… just like they did with David Moyes.  The board insisted that … Continue reading

August 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

Jamie Carragher spits and misses

England fans were less than surprised by Jamie Carragher’s failure to hit the target with his recent phlegm outburst.  Despite mustering a mouthful of spit, Carragher lacked the technical ability … Continue reading

March 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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