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Tony Pulis to take over management of Zimbabwe


Despite parting company with West Bromwich Albion, Tony Pulis is expected to take over at fellow strugglers, Zimbabwe, to help them avoid being relegated to the Third World – or … Continue reading

November 22, 2017 · Leave a comment

Man City owe success to ‘rush goalie’


Pep Guardiola has admitted that this season’s success is down to a series of playground tactics including jumpers for goalposts, a 0-1-1-15 formation and, all importantly, having the keeper run … Continue reading

November 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Britain ‘just not comfortable’ with winning


Winning World Cups and the F1 Championship are all very well, but the UK does not look good smiling triumphantly – partly because of mediocre dentistry, but mainly due to … Continue reading

November 8, 2017 · Leave a comment

95% of gambling adverts interrupted by sport


The Remote Gambling Association (RGA) has raised concerns that infomercials on betting are being used to promote football, Ray Winstone and other unsavoury addictions.  The fear is that supporting West … Continue reading

October 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

NHS charges Hamilton for ‘parking at work’


Despite his victory at Silverstone, Lewis Hamilton has had his Mercedes impounded until he pays the outstanding ticket for his pit-stop on lap 32.  As with all NHS Staff, Mr … Continue reading

July 19, 2017 · Leave a comment

Sadly Tennis ‘still a thing’


Through the inept competence of Johanna Konta, British sports fans have been forced to acknowledge her victory at the Miami Open and, by implication, the existence of that medieval torture … Continue reading

April 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Paul Nuttall ‘played centre forward’ for Liverpool


UKIP’s new leader has made the bold claim that he played alongside Kenny Dalglish in the 1978 European Cup Final. Standing in the Stoke by-election, Mr. Nuttal further declared that … Continue reading

March 7, 2017 · Leave a comment

Leicester sack Corbyn


After an improbable leadership victory last season, the Premiership’s strugglers have chosen to part company with ‘the bearded wonder’.  This is despite Corbyn having defied critics and bookies to take … Continue reading

March 1, 2017 · Leave a comment

FA inquiry quits before it starts


Following the time-honoured tradition of establishment cover-ups, members of any future investigation of abuse in football have already recused themselves.  This comes after news that in 2003 the FA scrapped … Continue reading

December 15, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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