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The Truth about Goats

How to spot ‘the wrong type of Jew’


The BBC, Guido Fawkes and your racist Uncle – have helpfully sought to clarify the real source of anti-Semitism – Jews. Said one news editor, channeling Lord Rothermere: ‘Originally we … Continue reading

April 3, 2018 · Leave a comment

Syphilitic remains found in Foreign Office may be Boris


Scientists believe to have discovered the mummified, nannified and pickled remains of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson – the last curse of the pharaohs and the Presidents’ Club.  This has … Continue reading

January 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Boris avoids Moscow. Moscow dodges bullet.


Diplomats from Russia and Britain breathed a collective sigh of relief as Boris Johnson flatly refused to visit Moscow, saying that he was perfectly ‘capable’ of insulting them from 2000 … Continue reading

April 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

Boris Johnson ‘no longer trusted’ with sharp objects


The government has been forced into an embarrassing admission that the Foreign Secretary is no longer responsible for anything to do with Foreigners.  UK diplomats have subsequently child-proofed all trade … Continue reading

December 20, 2016 · Leave a comment

Gove leaves Boris unattended


Parent groups and petting zoos have been outraged by reports that the ex-Education Secretary may have abandoned Boris Johnson to his own devices in the Foreign Office.  Having already acquired … Continue reading

November 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Gove admits error, then admires flying pig


The former Cabinet House-Elf, Michael Gove, has surprised the nation by acknowledging an oversight of the ‘tinsy-winsy variety’. Yet for someone who had previously dismissed fallibility as a sort of … Continue reading

November 14, 2016 · Leave a comment

Apple reduces bodily orifices down to one


Having phased out the redundant headphone socket, hardware designers have turned their attention to the outmoded bOdy 2.0. Removing all but the face aperture, Apple hope that this slimmed-down version … Continue reading

September 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

Syrian transition more detailed than Brexit


Despite five years of civil war and 250,000 fatalities, Syrian opposition factions have managed to do something that Theresa May was unable to do – actually ‘have a plan’.  The … Continue reading

September 22, 2016 · Leave a comment

Jools Holland to host the Night Tube


London Underground will begin running a late night anarchic pop show on its Victoria and Central lines, in response to the high level of commuter demand for a 24/7 showcase … Continue reading

August 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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