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Man angry PM threatened to ‘pile bodies high’, not angry that he actually did it


Mark O’Brien (47) was ‘spitting feathers’ at the fact that Boris Johnson had once mentioned the very thing he went on to do. ‘I’m outraged he said it.  Am I … Continue reading

May 4, 2021 · Leave a comment

Boris: Kristen Wiig singing ‘Imagine’ still worse than 120,000 dead


The Prime Minister helped to put the Covid crisis into perspective, by reminding people how cringeworthy Will Ferrell’s warbling is.  Promising to ease lockdown, Mr Johnson said that any rise … Continue reading

March 4, 2021 · Leave a comment

Johnson and Starmer announce much anticipated engagement


Wedding bells and cash registers are set to ring out, as the Prime Minister and The Leader of the Opposition look set to seal the knot and tighten the noose. … Continue reading

January 7, 2021 · Leave a comment

Boris to split up with his new girlfriend before they even start dating


Continuity experts have been flummoxed by internet rumours that the Prime Minister may have already moved onto his fifth wife; skipping over number four, various plot twists and all sense … Continue reading

September 16, 2020 · Leave a comment

I’m making it up as I go along, admits Boris


As the Prime Minister kickstarts the second wave of Corvid-19 infections by personally spitting in everyone’s pint, there is a growing suspicion that he has been winging it; like an … Continue reading

July 9, 2020 · Leave a comment

Boris allowed to organise opening of pubs – but not piss-ups in breweries


The Prime Minister has declared a significant relaxing of lockdown rules, with 2m distancing to be downgraded to ‘no tongues’. Unfortunately, Mr Johnson’s track record on planning is patchy; be … Continue reading

June 29, 2020 · Leave a comment

Boris promises to clap migrant NHS staff – in irons


In support of the NHS workers who saved his life, the PM has chosen to reward them with a big, fat kick to the balls. Exploited, fined and deported, these … Continue reading

June 4, 2020 · Leave a comment

Johnson just like Churchill…at Gallipoli


Acting like a wartime leader is all very well; but is probably inadvisable if the war is Little Bighorn and your choice of leader is General Custer. Unfortunately for Boris … Continue reading

May 19, 2020 · Leave a comment

‘Contingency plans’ for Boris’ death, still the best plan on offer


Despite staff at St. Thomas’ Hospital pronouncing Mr. Johnson ‘brain dead’ on arrival, he has now resumed his day to day duties. Death rates to the coronavirus have actually gone … Continue reading

May 13, 2020 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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