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The Truth about Goats

Gove to reintroduce pirates


In order to protect the UK’s fisheries post-Brexit, the Environment Secretary has issued Letters of the Marque to any Salty Jack or Rancid Boris.  The Channel will now be awash … Continue reading

July 6, 2017 · 2 Comments

Davis tells EU: ‘Hang on a minute, lads. I’ve got a great idea’


Despite assurances of a straight forward ‘smash and grab’, the UK’s Brexit team have found themselves teetering over the edge of political precipice, watching as EU assets slip towards the … Continue reading

June 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

Daily Mail distances itself from Daily Mail


In a remarkable act of contortion and sophistry, The Daily Mail has taken the extraordinary step of disavowing all knowledge of Katie Hopkins, Mail Online and the whereabouts of the … Continue reading

June 26, 2017 · Leave a comment

France secretly speaking English for years


Covert recordings, taken at Emmanuel Macron’s post-election rally, reveal thousands of revellers may have been faking their French chants of support.  On the tape, President Macron’s voice clearly drops several … Continue reading

May 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Sturgeon taken off sustainable list


Alongside North Sea haddock, opinions put forward by Nicola Sturgeon are no longer feasible and any promise sounds distinctly ‘fishy’.  Mrs. Sturgeon has been serving up ‘deep-fried codswallop’ for many … Continue reading

April 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Oh good, another referendum’ says UK


Nicola Sturgeon is to seek second opportunity to waste money and breath, by debating something we were told two years ago was a ‘once in a lifetime’ decision. Speaking in … Continue reading

April 3, 2017 · Leave a comment

May triggers Article 51 by accident


With a trigger finger as itchy as Lee Harvey Oswald covered in ants, Theresa May has inadvertently signed the wrong sub-clause of the EU convention.  Article 51, as complicated as … Continue reading

March 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Stubborn stain’ just principled


A particularly tenacious furniture stain has refused to change in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence – sticking to the belief that prisons work, global warming is a myth and … Continue reading

March 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

Trump adopts Gove


Reporting in the Sunday Times, Michael Gove was pleased to announce that he had found his natural father – the 45th President of the United States, the fifth Horseman of … Continue reading

February 8, 2017 · Leave a comment

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