Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Tax credits cause cancer


In a surprise announcement by the Chancellor, the British public have been warned that suckling on the welfare teat is worse than ‘smoking processed meats’. George Osborne has defended his … Continue reading

November 11, 2015 · Leave a comment

More Grammar schools should lead to more Morlocks


Education Secretary Nicky Morgan is to confirm an expansion in selective schooling, in order to finally create a race of ‘troglodyte over-lords’. In a homage to H. G. Wells’ novel, … Continue reading

November 3, 2015 · Leave a comment

Manchester hosts ‘mock interviews’ for next PM


This year’s Conservative Party conference has been replaced with a career’s day for elderly Tory hopefuls, with one eye on a retiring David Cameron.  Despite the Prime Minister having several … Continue reading

October 7, 2015 · Leave a comment

SNP to replace daylight savings with ‘borrowed time‏’


Scotland’s First Minister has rejected David Cameron’s insistence on a shared British clock and has proposed a move to a system where by the Scots, under cover of darkness, could … Continue reading

September 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

MPs more ‘horny’ than Rock Stars


With Prime Ministers and Lords now being implicated in historical, contemporary and all future imagined forms of sexual perversion, The Rolling Stones may be forced to retire. Unable to compete … Continue reading

August 17, 2015 · Leave a comment

‘Crazy discounts’ blamed for shortage of ‘mental beds’


With up to 60% off and 4 years interest free credit, the ‘insanity’ that is home furnishing flash-sales has led to a lack adult psychiatric health provision. One excitable marketing … Continue reading

July 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

Cameron wins Greece in EU negotiation


A rather quizzical British Prime Minister left the Brussels summit, arm in arm with an equally confused Greek PM, Alexis Tsipras. Having promised to leave the talks with an improved … Continue reading

July 7, 2015 · 2 Comments

Government favours unqualified stab victims


The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire … Continue reading

June 22, 2015 · Leave a comment

Chancellor lists RBS on eBay


George Osborne has taken the surprise step of selling the Government’s 80% share in Britain’s biggest corporate loss-making machine. The Royal Bank of Scotland has been listed as a ‘job … Continue reading

June 18, 2015 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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