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The Truth about Goats

France secretly speaking English for years


Covert recordings, taken at Emmanuel Macron’s post-election rally, reveal thousands of revellers may have been faking their French chants of support.  On the tape, President Macron’s voice clearly drops several … Continue reading

May 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Marine Le Pen channels Miss Trunchbull


In an attempt to fulfil Roald Dahl’s dying wish, France’s far-right leader has proposed an end to free education for foreign children, locking them in ‘chokey’ style camps and finally … Continue reading

January 12, 2017 · Leave a comment

French bombing solves EU migrant shortage‏


With just a mere 10,000 refugees arriving at the Hungarian border in the last 24 hours, many in the EU were starting to panic that we might run out of … Continue reading

October 15, 2015 · 2 Comments

France bans work emails after 6pm and lolcats in the office before 10am


In what is being seen as a ‘tit for cat’ retaliatory measure, Gallic big business plans to restrict private internet use in the office in response to workers being protected … Continue reading

April 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘France coquettishly demands to be spied upon’


US diplomats have laughed off recent accusations of espionage as ‘the jealous machinations’ of a spurned French Republic. In turn, the Quai d’Orsay’s Laurent Fabius has petulantly claimed that the … Continue reading

October 24, 2013 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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