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The Truth about Goats

Female libido pill to replace Harry Styles


Sprout Pharmaceuticals have released a new drug, Flibanserin, guaranteed to have the same impact on the female sex drive as ‘sitting on Russell Brand’s knee’. No longer will women have … Continue reading

September 1, 2015 · Leave a comment

Time travellers plan to kill Hitler for being a bad artist


As Hitler’s ‘Altes Rathaus’ is sold for $161,000 at a Nuremberg auction, many amateur scientists have promised to invent time travel for the sole purpose of murdering the Führer before … Continue reading

December 5, 2014 · Leave a comment

Official singles chart to count high-pitched screaming‏


For the first time ever, alongside streaming services, teenagers emitting ultrasonic squeals of delight will be used in calculating album and singles sales. Pant wetting, fainting and ‘poster kissing’ will … Continue reading

August 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

1D-Day commemorates the death of music


Veterans, historians and ‘girls with retainers’ were united in marking a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome ‘lack-lustre hair’, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of … Continue reading

June 13, 2014 · Leave a comment

Police search for child who drew on Harry Styles


Law enforcement agencies are on alert for the perpetrator of multiple acts of vandalism upon a much loved British landmark and source of teenage fantasy. Reports have emerged that Harry … Continue reading

May 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Syria was sooooooo last year!


Despite entering their third year of civil war many Syrians are starting to look drab, unwashed and unloved in comparison to fashionable parts of crisis-torn Eastern Europe. Once considered ‘quite … Continue reading

April 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

“One Direction’s film put through ‘clearing'”


UCAS has confirmed a late application for a Music Technology BSc at the University of Bedfordshire. Wary that fickle fame might desert them, the Anglo-Irish pop band admitted they needed … Continue reading

August 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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