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The Truth about Goats

Surgery patients advised to visit local butcher


Having encouraged sick children to be treated by pharmacists, NHS England has decided to outsource health care to the high street, combining The Body Shop with Hobbycraft.  Butchers will now … Continue reading

February 22, 2018 · 2 Comments

Anyone without a bed can sleep on my couch, says Hunt


The Health Secretary has kindly offering to tackle the NHS over-crowding crisis by making use of his ‘emergency futon’.  Critics have suggested that he is out of touch, but Mr. … Continue reading

January 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

Kids’ Facebook ‘ideal’ for imaginary friends


The social network has announced it intends to target under 13’s who have friends that are ‘as fictitious as Facebook’s own tax returns’.  This lucrative market would allow a kid … Continue reading

January 16, 2018 · Leave a comment

Surgeons could save time by not washing their hands


Up to two hours of surgery time could be saved per day by cutting out unnecessary luxuries, such as surgical scrubs, sharpened instruments and using an anaesthetic.  A study by … Continue reading

November 16, 2017 · Leave a comment

1 in 10 hospitals doing ‘just fine’


Jeremy Hunt was celebrating new data that suggests that as many as 15 out of 152 hospital trusts are meeting minimum over-crowding targets.  This staggering success matches other key reductions … Continue reading

March 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Demand for Junior Doctors, a stereotype says Jewish Mother


The Health Secretary’s plans to increase the number of medical school places has been seen as an attempt to perpetuate a Jewish caricature, that there is a shortage of good … Continue reading

November 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

10 minute consultations ‘a real drag’


The British Medical Association (BMA) has criticised the Health Secretary’s truncated care as an ‘interminable bore’, which becomes no more than a longwinded chat, punctuated with small-talk and embarrassing rashes.  … Continue reading

September 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

Call for ministers to offer 24/7 dumb-fuckery


While legitimate concerns have been raised about NHS weekend provision, many are now demanding that the Cabinet spreads its incompetence more evenly over the week.  Data suggests a sharp decline … Continue reading

May 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

Doctors opt for placebo strike


Having exhausted all conventional medicines in repairing the NHS, junior doctors have decided to embark upon another meaningless industrial action to solve the nation’s ills.  Despite resorting to a fake … Continue reading

April 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)

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