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Hopkins splits from Mail due to ‘artistic differences’


Broadcaster and professional bear-baiter, Katie Hopkins has left the MailOnline in order to spend more time with her family of winged monkeys and her nagging sense of self-loathing.  Her agent … Continue reading

November 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Grieving families helped by smug Tweet


While Manchester attempts to recover from a terrorist atrocity, many on social media helpfully took the time to explain how pleased they were to be proven ‘right’.  Fortunately we have … Continue reading

May 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

Banksy to fight Katie Hopkins for the nation’s soul


In what is being billed as the ultimate battle between light and darkness, British citizens will soon have to choose between having their conscience represented by a graffiti artist or … Continue reading

February 17, 2016 · Leave a comment

Lack of snakebite antidote a worry for Katie Hopkin’s fans


Medicins Sans Frontieres have warned that stocks of ‘Hopkins anti-venom’ are running dangerously low and that the public should be on their guard for a carnivorous reptile ‘hiding in the … Continue reading

September 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

First penis transplant, as Clarkson moves to SKY


Rumours are abound that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter has deliberated struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere. SKY satellite engineers will work around the clock to … Continue reading

March 19, 2015 · Leave a comment

‘Congress warned – all the ‘cool war names’ will be taken’


President Obama has cautioned that further delays on Syrian intervention will seriously restrict the Pentagon’s choice of ‘military monikers’. Unscrupulous ‘patent trolls’ have already reserved the names and web addresses … Continue reading

September 2, 2013 · 4 Comments

“Katie Hopkins unveiled as the ‘Tories’ Doreen Lawrence'”


Not to be outdone by their Labour counterparts, Tory HQ has announced they will be offering a peerage to the ex-Reality TV star. David Cameron insisted that the Conservatives needed … Continue reading

August 4, 2013 · 2 Comments

“Families still “too selfish” to sleep rough”


Ministers showed their displeasure with a report from the Resolution Foundation that suggests that rent is ‘unaffordable’ for one third of low-income families. Or to put it another way, as … Continue reading

July 23, 2013 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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