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Man Utd board back Liam Fox


Despite a disastrous start to Brexit negotiations, Man Utd directors have said that Dr. Fox has their full support… just like they did with David Moyes.  The board insisted that … Continue reading

August 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

May rejects points-based Premiership


The Prime Minister has dismissed calls to control entry into the Champions League via a top four finish, favouring a fairer ‘who has the most money’ system.  In the aftermath … Continue reading

September 20, 2016 · Leave a comment

League agrees to cap Aston Villa at 30 points‏


Alongside their decision to limit the cost of away tickets next season, football club owners have proposed a plan to ‘once and for all’ rid the Premiership of the ‘embarrassment’ … Continue reading

March 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

Roy Keane denies his rage is just restricted to roads


The former Manchester United enforcer, has entered a plea of ‘not guilty’ to threatening behaviour ‘just in areas of tarmac’. The hearing at Trafford Magistrates’ Court, saw graphic photographs of … Continue reading

April 27, 2015 · 2 Comments

60% of adults admit to nightmares involving Roy Keane’s stony visage


Much of the nation’s bed wetting can now be attributed to the steely glare of the ex-midfielder, scourge of the razor and failed Boyzone auditionee – Mr Roy Keane. Coupled … Continue reading

October 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Ed Miliband: Give me a decade to fix Man Utd


In a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader set out a 10-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. While many of his critics … Continue reading

September 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

Man Utd fans banned from looking at football results


In a move designed to avoid discontent among fans and shareholders, Man Utd officials have taken the unprecedented decision to ban tablets, laptops and ‘any access to the league table’ … Continue reading

August 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Rats put in transfer request at Man Utd‏


As a series of high profile players exit Old Trafford at the end of this calamitous season, various rodents who had hitherto survived on hardened lumps of ‘Fergie gum’ have … Continue reading

May 16, 2014 · Leave a comment

January Transfer Window sees a late bid for Amanda Knox


Italian football fans were delighted to see an audacious extradition offer being made for the American ‘off-the-shoulder striker’. The transfer deal is said to eclipse the $4m paid for Ms. … Continue reading

February 3, 2014 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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