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Home Office asks for advice on how to fix an Inquiry

With regret Home Secretary Theresa May has conceded that she has run out of ‘dodgy’ candidates to appoint to chair the Inquiry into Historic Child Abuse. Having lost Baroness Butler-Sloss … Continue reading

November 13, 2014 · Leave a comment

Public devastated to discover Gove not a paedophile‏

Despite a child protection manager alleging over 20 prominent ministers were serial abusers, British parents have been left distraught by the fact Michael Gove had ‘…absolutely nothing to do with … Continue reading

July 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Thatcher’s cabinet torn between abusing Miners or Minors

As more evidence emerges, or mysteriously/conveniently ends up as landfill, it is becoming increasingly plausible that successive 1980’s governments turned a blind eye to accusations of abuse. Burly members of … Continue reading

July 10, 2014 · Leave a comment

Gerry Adams admits to involvement in the ‘passive aggressive’ wing of Sinn Féin

While still denying his part in the 1972 IRA murder of mother of 10 Jean McConville, the republican politician acknowledged his part in a systematic campaign of ‘sustained grumpiness’. Hiding … Continue reading

May 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Argentina’s currency in crisis – Falklands braced for ‘scapegoating s*@t-storm’

As the peso sees its sharpest fall since 2002, economists and meteorologists are anticipating a ‘force 12 tempest’ to emanate from the mouth of President Cristina Kirchner. While Argentinean’s struggle … Continue reading

February 6, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘Innocent Face’ comes out of hiding

With the death of notoriously guilt-free yet stunningly litigious Lord McAlpine, the emoticon formally known as ‘the smug one’ has emerged from exile. Although Sally Bercow, Alan Davies and the … Continue reading

January 23, 2014 · Leave a comment

Cabinet papers reveal Thatcher ‘hoarded’ biscuits

While reports that the then-PM Margaret Thatcher spent the 80s demonizing mineworkers, the real shock has been the leaked accounts of her unsavoury management of cabinet meetings. Not only did … Continue reading

January 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

“Excrement covered Thatcher to win Turner Prize”

Although the short list for the 2014 annual arts prize is still to be announced, the vandalized remains of the ‘yet to be built’ Margaret Thatcher statue is guaranteed to … Continue reading

August 25, 2013 · 2 Comments

“Katie Hopkins unveiled as the ‘Tories’ Doreen Lawrence'”

Not to be outdone by their Labour counterparts, Tory HQ has announced they will be offering a peerage to the ex-Reality TV star. David Cameron insisted that the Conservatives needed … Continue reading

August 4, 2013 · 2 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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