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Student debt is ‘character building’


According to the tabloids, owing £90,000 before you have left home now tops Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – just above feeling bloated, spam email and hangnail. University students need to … Continue reading

August 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Unexploded baby discovered at wedding


Despite a clear warning on the invitation – ‘no children’ – extremist relatives have chosen to unleash a full-throated baby on an innocent wedding ceremony; upsetting at least one innocent … Continue reading

July 5, 2017 · Leave a comment

Theresa May wows Glastonbury with her face-painting


While Jeremy Corbyn pandered to youngsters with his vision of hope and love, the Prime Minister nailed the John Peel Stage with her avant-garde bukakee madrigal and balloon animals. ‘Living … Continue reading

July 3, 2017 · Leave a comment

Flood of immigrant nurses finally halted


In the face of much recent criticism, Theresa May was finally able to point to her success in stopping the threat of qualified health professionals from getting out of hand.  … Continue reading

June 27, 2017 · Leave a comment

‘Don’t worry, I got this covered’ says May


Surrounded by canned goods, Theresa May sent out a reassuring message to the British public, deep from within the bowels of No.10’s bespoke nuclear bunker.  Strapping on a bullet-proof vest, … Continue reading

June 20, 2017 · Leave a comment

Corbyn wins Under-20 World Cup


Despite being an Arsenal fan, Jeremy Corbyn has led England’s Under-20s to their first electoral upset since 1966.  Through a combination of ‘kick it and hope’ and Theresa May still … Continue reading

June 14, 2017 · 2 Comments

‘Of course it can get worse’ says triumphant May


Waving to a handpicked crowd, with snipers aimed at them, the newly elected Prime Minister renewed her message of hope; hope that Brexit was a cheese-dream, hope that her husband … Continue reading

June 13, 2017 · Leave a comment

Murdoch says you can vote now


Our benevolent overlord, Rupert Murdoch, has granted a day of democracy for the collective chattel – provided, of course, they vote for his preferred minion.  To help us in our … Continue reading

June 8, 2017 · Leave a comment

Biff, Chip and Kipper and the ‘not-so-free’ school meal


Mum was reading an election leaflet: ‘Fuck me.  Mrs May says she will no longer be providing free school lunches.’ ‘She’s not normally such a bitch,’ observed Chip. ‘Not that … Continue reading

June 8, 2017 · Leave a comment

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