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The Truth about Goats

Gove leaves Boris unattended


Parent groups and petting zoos have been outraged by reports that the ex-Education Secretary may have abandoned Boris Johnson to his own devices in the Foreign Office.  Having already acquired … Continue reading

November 21, 2016 · Leave a comment

Call for ministers to offer 24/7 dumb-fuckery


While legitimate concerns have been raised about NHS weekend provision, many are now demanding that the Cabinet spreads its incompetence more evenly over the week.  Data suggests a sharp decline … Continue reading

May 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

Academize? Sorry we meant to say, ‘privatise’.


The Government was forced into an embarrassing apology for what was seen as ‘a monumental error in spell-check’ affecting the last six years of education policy.  Their successful privatisation of … Continue reading

April 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

Taylor Swift to headline EU debate


The BBC has agreed to stage the EU referendum at Wembley Arena, with a host of popular rock stars and musically-gifted xenophobes set to take the stage.  Likened to ‘Live … Continue reading

March 15, 2016 · Leave a comment

NPCC demands the ‘right weapons’ to be truly racist


In response to Home Office figures on tasering, the National Police Chiefs Council has declared that increased attacks on black suspects can only be maintained if officers are given the … Continue reading

November 2, 2015 · Leave a comment

SAS no longer require Higher Maths paper


Entry requirements for the UK’s covert reconnaissance squad are to be ‘softened’ due to recent fatalities and concern that Scottish exams are getting too hard. The ‘dumbed down’ selection process … Continue reading

August 20, 2015 · Leave a comment

Gove to academize Prisons


David Cameron’s first instruction to Michael Gove, his most significant appointment of his new Cabinet, is to unleash George Eliot’s ‘Middlemarch’ upon unsuspecting prison inmates. Thanks to Mr. Gove’s previous … Continue reading

May 18, 2015 · Leave a comment

Hard Working Families to be given extra votes


Now that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the … Continue reading

April 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

August reminds teachers how much they love teaching


As their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could … Continue reading

August 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

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